September 7, 2009
It’s Monday night and I’m feeling pretty good. I am amazed at how quickly the time is passing here. I think because I am working so hard during the day the chill time I have in the afternoon and evening feels wonderful and like I can’t get enough. Better than when I was in Argentina and had a lot of hanging out time. We just had our weekly house meeting and I feel thankful for the chance to reconnect and remember why I am here. Its important to remind myself why I am doing this often because otherwise I can get caught up in the little things I cannot control. It helps me step back and look at the big picture.
I’m trying to learn the perfect balance between one on one time with my students and class direction time. So often the class gets rowdy or distracted when I have to step aside to communicate something specific with one student and unfortunately that is usually negative. I seem to have some students in second grade that just know that they are the class clowns and they don’t care otherwise. They are both pretty good at doing their work when they get to it but for the other students who are struggling with the material its distracting and makes my lesson choppy when I have to keep interrupting myself to redirect the “naughty” students. I’m working on trying to have a better positive relationship with these two boys so that I can build off of their trust in me to not distract the class. Today I asked one boy to help me carry the notebooks to the teachers’ lounge (This great idea was Xan’s! Thanks and I welcome any other advice!) And the other erased the board for me. But I get tired of constantly saying their name and feeling as if they don’t care one bit what I say. I don’t feel like I have lost control of the classroom but I hate that these boys think I only think negatively about them. I’m working on it!
I’m starting to make more of my own community of friends around here. I meeting people and looking forward to seeing people at school. I still dread walking into my first class of the day, but once I get on a roll I don’t even think about the fact that I’m a teacher until I’m walking home from school eagerly heading towards my bed for my afternoon nap. Speaking of my afternoon nap, and nights sleep actually, I think I might need you guys to send me some tranquilizers for pets. The dogs around here bark and howl all night long. Once I get to sleep almost nothing can wake me up (now that I’m not an RA anymore) but it does take more time to get to sleep when probably something like ten dogs are barking outside my window.
I keep healing from my sickness. I can tell when I’m tired my throat hurts more, but I have been taking Nyquil and it helps me get a good nights rest. I’m drinking lots of water too, be proud mama. Tomorrow I stay after school to tutor the girls and have my late lunch over there. I’m excited to connect with them now that the stress of teaching has settled down some. It will be interesting to balance the relationship of teacher and friend with the girls I have in class but I’m sure we will work it out together.
I’m still not over the fact that I am ready to head to bed at nine. I hope that by the time I’m used to going to bed early I’m also used to waking up at 5:00 am.