Dear Friends and Family,
I hope that you all had a wonderful Easter! I was able to spend my spring break getting to know my new niece Scout Jeannette Wooten! She is a beautiful little one with tons of dark hair. It was truly a blessing to be able to hold her and love on her during my week off.
I am now back in Honduras and ready to take on the last quarter of my time here. I have moments everyday where I find myself smiling from ear to ear, or laughing till I cry with the girls or my friends here, and I almost always end these moments with a little thought of how hard it will be to leave this country and this experience.
As always these experiences have their ups and downs. I went through some typical culture shock when I arrived, and actually again after six months. Following my experience in Argentina, as soon as I started to understand and be comfortable with Honduran culture it is near time for me to say goodbye. I do feel sad that my time is coming to a close but I also feel really good about what I have done here. I will do my best to enjoy every moment I have with my students, the girls in the home, and my dear Honduran friends.
I have a very special place in my heart for Honduras. It has a dirty history and a dark future. The people I know here though, are trying their best to make do. Given a pretty ugly hand, they pull through everyday just barely making it. I am grateful for the opportunities I have been given by solely being born as an American citizen. No matter where you land on the political spectrum you should feel grateful to be an American. This was a lesson I needed to learn, and have learned it well here in Honduras. If you find yourself doubting this I encourage you to think about a trip to a third world country and you will also see the light!
This past quarter of school, January to April, was very difficult. I think it was a mixture of many things. I had no break, no jaunt to the sea for a couple days, and it wore on me! Teaching is hard for me; I’ve overcome the everyday challenges, but nine weeks straight with no break and the only fun day at school was Valentine’s Day. I often compared it to the third lap in the mile race of four laps, its often the hardest lap, seems like everything in my life can relate back to running philosophy somehow.
I do have exciting news though! My plans for when I come home have really come together. In March I was accepted to The New School in New York City. I will be studying Non-Profit Management. I also got a job as a resident advisor so I will be living in the financial district of the city. I feel very blessed that this opportunity has become available to me. Thanks to the wonderful support I received from staff and faculty at Rockford I am now able to start making my dreams realities.
Being in New York City in the middle of all of the non-profit and international organizations will be a huge benefit to making connections in the non-profit world. I already feel a bit nervous about my ability to do graduate school. I’m telling myself everyone feels like this before graduate school; don’t tell me if it’s not true! ;-) I am going to push myself outside of my comfort zone there and really learn how to network.
Thank you for making this experience possible for me, and helping me to be a role model for these girls who are so wonderful. The following is a brief introduction of one of the girls from the home that I have had an extra special connection with and that I think will really make it someday.
Gratefully,
Hannah
Riccy-
Riccy is a ten year old smiley student in my second grade classroom. She is always one of the first girls from the home to welcome the visitors and is almost always in a happy mood. She loves to practice her English with the visitors and treats all the tias and teachers with respect. She is very affectionate and loves to dance!
Riccy tries very hard in school, though she struggles quite a bit. She is always asking me to help her study more over the weekends or after she finishes her homework. She seems to be very aware that she is lucky to be in the home and go to a bilingual school.
Riccy has two sisters who also live in the home with her. The three of them are always together. Please pray for Riccy as she finished second grade that she will continue to take her school work seriously and continue at Holy Family.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
April 30th
April 30, 2010
It’s five o’clock on a Friday afternoon and I just woke up from a nap. A very hot sweaty nap because my air conditioning doesn’t work but nonetheless I caught some zzzzs. I have to apologize for not writing in quite a while. My life has become quite routine lately, seems like the weeks fly by, the weekends creep by and then suddenly another month has passed.
I know the girls better and better everyday. I feel as if it is really important that I continue to show them I love them without expecting anything in return. I am constantly reminded of this when I think of all the volunteers they have experienced relationships with in the past. I’m just another one of many, but I doubt I will ever have to chance to love 60 girls again. I hope to use these last six weeks to really drill into them how beautiful, how intelligent, and how funny they are. I am here for their future, to make their future a reality and not a dream. It seems insignificant now but I know it will be a huge difference as they move out of the home and start lives that are not on the street or stuck in a home with an abusive husband.
My time here is not wasted!
Today I was overwhelmed with a feeling of sadness. Yesterday, on of the cooks and housekeepers of the home was screaming and crying in the school. Later on in the afternoon one of the girls, a sixth grader, said “they killed her son”. Just like that Leily from the home told me the awful awful truth of her country. As a coping mechanism I prayed for her, put Chavela in my heart and continued to tutor the girls. Then today at school I was in the teacher’s lounge speaking with some of the other teachers. They were talking about how horrible it was. Apparently he was shot ten times. (I know that often Hondurans tend to exaggerate things, unfortunately though I don’t think this is far from the truth).
This topic seemed to get everyone talking as each one of the teachers started sharing their own stories with me. One coworkers friend was kid napped in the fall, one coworkers husband was kidnapped and then left on the side of the road outside of the city, and another coworkers house was broken into last week. Odilia the second grade teacher, lives just a block from my apartment. She said, “o no one told you? My house was broken into last week.” This was shocking to me, as I have felt like I live in a pretty safe area. I never thought someone might actually break into my house.
Anyway, as everyone started sharing their stories I checked out for a bit. I looked off into the distance only half listening to all their stories. I said to myself… Hannah, get your act together. You can handle this… but the truth is I can’t. My best friend and fifth grade teacher Dirian notice my “exit” and said stop telling these stories or you will make Hannah cry. Well that snapped me back into attention and then I just lost it. All these people that I love live in such a dangerous place. I asked them “How do you go on everyday knowing that it could be you?” Miss Odilia, who has two children a preschool aged son and a fourth grade daughter said, “I leave everyday knowing I might not make it back.”
O it’s just terrible. I told them that usually if someone dies from a crime I always assume in the states that they were part of something not safe, like maybe a gang, an unhealthy relationship, a drug war… But here people will kill for a cell phone. That’s what they have always said, and I now know it to be true.
I’m surprised that I don’t feel a crippling fear from the conversations I had today but more sadness. I feel so sad that all these people I love live in danger everyday. I suppose maybe they don’t know any better, but after seeing so many people walk down the street in NYC with their Iphone glued to their ear and not run into any problems make me feel so sad that this is how they live.
My friend Dirian consoled me as I got myself back together. We were headed to a all staff meeting with administration and I had to get in there. But I just hugged her and said, “Dirian, come home with me where you wont be in any danger, I love you too much to leave you here in this dangerous city.” Later I worried that she might have taken offense to that. I really hope I didn’t offend any of them, I care about them so much I want them to be safe, and I wish it wasn’t like this here. I hope they know that I’m just sad about the danger not judging their culture or their country.
The only answer I can find in this shock and fear and sadness and confusion is to pray. I pray for the people I have come to love here in Honduras, but I also pray for the young boys in this country who do not have parents and feel loved by gang members. I pray that children in this country will live different lives and be cared for and not need to rob or kill people for love and/or money. I pray that God is present to everyone in Honduras in some way. I pray that they will come to understand the beauty of life.
Tonight I pray especially for Chavela, her daughter, and all the girls at the home. I know they will be mourning the death of Chavela’s son and I am well aware that I will never be able to relate to what it is like to be from this country. Dear Lord, thank you for protecting the girls of the home, and please be present this night in the lives of all.
It’s five o’clock on a Friday afternoon and I just woke up from a nap. A very hot sweaty nap because my air conditioning doesn’t work but nonetheless I caught some zzzzs. I have to apologize for not writing in quite a while. My life has become quite routine lately, seems like the weeks fly by, the weekends creep by and then suddenly another month has passed.
I know the girls better and better everyday. I feel as if it is really important that I continue to show them I love them without expecting anything in return. I am constantly reminded of this when I think of all the volunteers they have experienced relationships with in the past. I’m just another one of many, but I doubt I will ever have to chance to love 60 girls again. I hope to use these last six weeks to really drill into them how beautiful, how intelligent, and how funny they are. I am here for their future, to make their future a reality and not a dream. It seems insignificant now but I know it will be a huge difference as they move out of the home and start lives that are not on the street or stuck in a home with an abusive husband.
My time here is not wasted!
Today I was overwhelmed with a feeling of sadness. Yesterday, on of the cooks and housekeepers of the home was screaming and crying in the school. Later on in the afternoon one of the girls, a sixth grader, said “they killed her son”. Just like that Leily from the home told me the awful awful truth of her country. As a coping mechanism I prayed for her, put Chavela in my heart and continued to tutor the girls. Then today at school I was in the teacher’s lounge speaking with some of the other teachers. They were talking about how horrible it was. Apparently he was shot ten times. (I know that often Hondurans tend to exaggerate things, unfortunately though I don’t think this is far from the truth).
This topic seemed to get everyone talking as each one of the teachers started sharing their own stories with me. One coworkers friend was kid napped in the fall, one coworkers husband was kidnapped and then left on the side of the road outside of the city, and another coworkers house was broken into last week. Odilia the second grade teacher, lives just a block from my apartment. She said, “o no one told you? My house was broken into last week.” This was shocking to me, as I have felt like I live in a pretty safe area. I never thought someone might actually break into my house.
Anyway, as everyone started sharing their stories I checked out for a bit. I looked off into the distance only half listening to all their stories. I said to myself… Hannah, get your act together. You can handle this… but the truth is I can’t. My best friend and fifth grade teacher Dirian notice my “exit” and said stop telling these stories or you will make Hannah cry. Well that snapped me back into attention and then I just lost it. All these people that I love live in such a dangerous place. I asked them “How do you go on everyday knowing that it could be you?” Miss Odilia, who has two children a preschool aged son and a fourth grade daughter said, “I leave everyday knowing I might not make it back.”
O it’s just terrible. I told them that usually if someone dies from a crime I always assume in the states that they were part of something not safe, like maybe a gang, an unhealthy relationship, a drug war… But here people will kill for a cell phone. That’s what they have always said, and I now know it to be true.
I’m surprised that I don’t feel a crippling fear from the conversations I had today but more sadness. I feel so sad that all these people I love live in danger everyday. I suppose maybe they don’t know any better, but after seeing so many people walk down the street in NYC with their Iphone glued to their ear and not run into any problems make me feel so sad that this is how they live.
My friend Dirian consoled me as I got myself back together. We were headed to a all staff meeting with administration and I had to get in there. But I just hugged her and said, “Dirian, come home with me where you wont be in any danger, I love you too much to leave you here in this dangerous city.” Later I worried that she might have taken offense to that. I really hope I didn’t offend any of them, I care about them so much I want them to be safe, and I wish it wasn’t like this here. I hope they know that I’m just sad about the danger not judging their culture or their country.
The only answer I can find in this shock and fear and sadness and confusion is to pray. I pray for the people I have come to love here in Honduras, but I also pray for the young boys in this country who do not have parents and feel loved by gang members. I pray that children in this country will live different lives and be cared for and not need to rob or kill people for love and/or money. I pray that God is present to everyone in Honduras in some way. I pray that they will come to understand the beauty of life.
Tonight I pray especially for Chavela, her daughter, and all the girls at the home. I know they will be mourning the death of Chavela’s son and I am well aware that I will never be able to relate to what it is like to be from this country. Dear Lord, thank you for protecting the girls of the home, and please be present this night in the lives of all.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
My Birthday!
Hi family and friends!
Well I am now officially 23! Seems like a weird age, I guess it just feels like it symbolizes the fact that the younger college goer in me has now grown up. My birthday was really great yesterday. I’m gonna go through it detail by detail in order to cover all the beautiful little things that made my day so wonderful.
I woke up early and peeked outside my door. Emily had decorated for my birthday and Brenda had wrapped my gifts from my family and set them outside my door. I had a nice little time by myself opening my gifts and talking to my mama on facebook chat.
I got beautiful gifts that I have already put to good use. I will be much more occupied at home these days as I now have Grey’s Anatomy Season five to keep me busy! I had sweet cards from the family and reading them just set my day off right. While I was reading my cards and opening my gifts my friend Dirian called me to wish me a Happy Birthday.
As I walked into the school/home grounds all the girls from the orphanage were on their way to their other schools. They all greeted me so sweetly and it was so fun to see how their faces lit up when they remembered it was my birthday. The majority of the kids in the school knew it was my birthday and I got hugs galore all day.
At chapel we did our normal deal and then they asked me to come up front. They all sang happy birthday, thanked me for my work here, and prayed for me. The prayer was very sweet and I felt very special.
When I went into first grade they all sang Las Mananitas, which is a beautiful birthday song that I had to learn in my Spanish class once. It was fun to hear it again and sweet with little first grade voices.
For lunch I had yummy pupusas, which are a Honduran treat. It is mostly just a small circle of dough really, but it has some cheese mixed in…. it’s delicious.
In second grade in the afternoon we danced the hokey pokey (learning vocabulary of course)!
Then I went to the home to help tutor. I helped Sihan and Riccy with English and just encouraged Mauda to keep going on her school work. We laughed, several girls gave me sweet homemade cards, and at 3:30 I headed home.
I was going to take a nap but I checked my email first. In my email I had a response from the Residence Life program I am applying to at the New School. They have already finished the group interviews but because of my experience they would still like to have an interview with me over the phone. The director is supposed to get in touch with me in March.
I also got an email from one of my recommenders for graduate school at The New School. He emailed me my letter of recommendation. Of course most letters of recommendation make you feel good but this one was extra special. What a perfect day to receive it. Now my application is complete and in the process. I hope to hear from them within the next month or so.
I spoke with ever member of my family on skype, Emmanuel sang happy birthday really sweet, and I got to show off my Birthday “look”. I then went out to dinner with my housemates and things got to be a little strange.
We were sitting at the restaurant I like waiting for my other friends to show up (yes Hondurans always arrive at least thirty minutes late) and a huge wind started blowing around. Dust in our eyes, leaves and seeds in our hair, and a swaying patio on the restaurant led us to move downstairs to continue waiting. The restaurant next door suffered some major damage because a huge tree feel on the roof and cut out the electricity. I hope that no one was hurt! Then the power to the whole city went out. I heard later they turned it off to avoid electrical fires. We decided we needed to call a taxi and get out of there quick. Finally the taxi came and we made it home safe and sound. When we got home, Yara and Emily gave me their birthday gift.
This was a great ending to a very nice day. They gave me a notebook that they had gotten signed by all my students, the other teachers and staff, and all the girls at the home. It was so sweet. I cried and cried and cried. I was so overwhelmed by emotion! It isn’t just signed though, people wrote really sweet heart felt notes in it. I will have this to treasure the rest of my life as a memory to what this whole experience means.
I ended up making Mac and Cheese, talked with Nelleke and papa on Skype and then watched the first episode of Grey’s Anatomy with Yara. All in all it was a good day.
I feel so overwhelmed with a feeling of contentment. I think this is one of my favorite birthdays so far. It is hard to be away from family but I got to talk to everybody and with Skype it makes it a little better since we can see each other. I felt so loved by everyone in this organization. Hondurans really know how to make someone feel special on their birthday.
I do not love Honduras, by any stretch of the imagination, but the comfort of knowing that I am where I am supposed to be and doing what God has asked of me, is a wonderful feeling. I will make it through. I will never forget this experience I will forever feel blessed.
Well I am now officially 23! Seems like a weird age, I guess it just feels like it symbolizes the fact that the younger college goer in me has now grown up. My birthday was really great yesterday. I’m gonna go through it detail by detail in order to cover all the beautiful little things that made my day so wonderful.
I woke up early and peeked outside my door. Emily had decorated for my birthday and Brenda had wrapped my gifts from my family and set them outside my door. I had a nice little time by myself opening my gifts and talking to my mama on facebook chat.
I got beautiful gifts that I have already put to good use. I will be much more occupied at home these days as I now have Grey’s Anatomy Season five to keep me busy! I had sweet cards from the family and reading them just set my day off right. While I was reading my cards and opening my gifts my friend Dirian called me to wish me a Happy Birthday.
As I walked into the school/home grounds all the girls from the orphanage were on their way to their other schools. They all greeted me so sweetly and it was so fun to see how their faces lit up when they remembered it was my birthday. The majority of the kids in the school knew it was my birthday and I got hugs galore all day.
At chapel we did our normal deal and then they asked me to come up front. They all sang happy birthday, thanked me for my work here, and prayed for me. The prayer was very sweet and I felt very special.
When I went into first grade they all sang Las Mananitas, which is a beautiful birthday song that I had to learn in my Spanish class once. It was fun to hear it again and sweet with little first grade voices.
For lunch I had yummy pupusas, which are a Honduran treat. It is mostly just a small circle of dough really, but it has some cheese mixed in…. it’s delicious.
In second grade in the afternoon we danced the hokey pokey (learning vocabulary of course)!
Then I went to the home to help tutor. I helped Sihan and Riccy with English and just encouraged Mauda to keep going on her school work. We laughed, several girls gave me sweet homemade cards, and at 3:30 I headed home.
I was going to take a nap but I checked my email first. In my email I had a response from the Residence Life program I am applying to at the New School. They have already finished the group interviews but because of my experience they would still like to have an interview with me over the phone. The director is supposed to get in touch with me in March.
I also got an email from one of my recommenders for graduate school at The New School. He emailed me my letter of recommendation. Of course most letters of recommendation make you feel good but this one was extra special. What a perfect day to receive it. Now my application is complete and in the process. I hope to hear from them within the next month or so.
I spoke with ever member of my family on skype, Emmanuel sang happy birthday really sweet, and I got to show off my Birthday “look”. I then went out to dinner with my housemates and things got to be a little strange.
We were sitting at the restaurant I like waiting for my other friends to show up (yes Hondurans always arrive at least thirty minutes late) and a huge wind started blowing around. Dust in our eyes, leaves and seeds in our hair, and a swaying patio on the restaurant led us to move downstairs to continue waiting. The restaurant next door suffered some major damage because a huge tree feel on the roof and cut out the electricity. I hope that no one was hurt! Then the power to the whole city went out. I heard later they turned it off to avoid electrical fires. We decided we needed to call a taxi and get out of there quick. Finally the taxi came and we made it home safe and sound. When we got home, Yara and Emily gave me their birthday gift.
This was a great ending to a very nice day. They gave me a notebook that they had gotten signed by all my students, the other teachers and staff, and all the girls at the home. It was so sweet. I cried and cried and cried. I was so overwhelmed by emotion! It isn’t just signed though, people wrote really sweet heart felt notes in it. I will have this to treasure the rest of my life as a memory to what this whole experience means.
I ended up making Mac and Cheese, talked with Nelleke and papa on Skype and then watched the first episode of Grey’s Anatomy with Yara. All in all it was a good day.
I feel so overwhelmed with a feeling of contentment. I think this is one of my favorite birthdays so far. It is hard to be away from family but I got to talk to everybody and with Skype it makes it a little better since we can see each other. I felt so loved by everyone in this organization. Hondurans really know how to make someone feel special on their birthday.
I do not love Honduras, by any stretch of the imagination, but the comfort of knowing that I am where I am supposed to be and doing what God has asked of me, is a wonderful feeling. I will make it through. I will never forget this experience I will forever feel blessed.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
February 16th
February 16th, 2010
Its four o’clock and I have just arrived back at my house after teaching and tutoring. Today wasn’t an extra special day for any reason but I feel like I need to write a blog. School is going much better these days. The kids seem to know what to expect of me and I’m learning that when I am rested and positive my days are much easier. The students respond to happy but disciplined teachers. I’m proud to be that for them.
Anyway, after school I go tutor the girls in the home. I always dread it, after a long day at school I just want to go home, wash my hands, and take a nap ;-). I always think come on Hannah, an hour isn’t that long and I get started. As I spend more time with the girls I love being with them more. I haven’t written about how loved I feel by them yet, and that is crazy. I feel so loved by these girls. And I am amazed at how unconditionally they do it.
I worked so so SO hard to break through to these girls, and now I can say I honestly have. I had good moments with them of course before but nothing like I do now. Before on any given day the girls could be in a bad mood and be short with me, but now I can say what the heck? Snap out of your mood and they laugh and we hug and move on. Today I horsed around with Riccy, Mauda, Tania, and Abby. Its been a challenge determining how my relationship with Riccy and Mauda should go in the home since I have them both in class but even though I have had to punish them sometimes they still love me when I visit their home. Tania and Abby are both older and its nice to have them as friends. I am thankful that I work in the school and not as a tia because it gives me a little bit more freedom to be their friend and not their disciplinarian.
I love these girls, and the only thing I can think now is how hard it will be to say goodbye to them all. I am not in love with Honduras and eager to move on with my life, but these girls and their smiles will always hold a special spot in my heart.
Its four o’clock and I have just arrived back at my house after teaching and tutoring. Today wasn’t an extra special day for any reason but I feel like I need to write a blog. School is going much better these days. The kids seem to know what to expect of me and I’m learning that when I am rested and positive my days are much easier. The students respond to happy but disciplined teachers. I’m proud to be that for them.
Anyway, after school I go tutor the girls in the home. I always dread it, after a long day at school I just want to go home, wash my hands, and take a nap ;-). I always think come on Hannah, an hour isn’t that long and I get started. As I spend more time with the girls I love being with them more. I haven’t written about how loved I feel by them yet, and that is crazy. I feel so loved by these girls. And I am amazed at how unconditionally they do it.
I worked so so SO hard to break through to these girls, and now I can say I honestly have. I had good moments with them of course before but nothing like I do now. Before on any given day the girls could be in a bad mood and be short with me, but now I can say what the heck? Snap out of your mood and they laugh and we hug and move on. Today I horsed around with Riccy, Mauda, Tania, and Abby. Its been a challenge determining how my relationship with Riccy and Mauda should go in the home since I have them both in class but even though I have had to punish them sometimes they still love me when I visit their home. Tania and Abby are both older and its nice to have them as friends. I am thankful that I work in the school and not as a tia because it gives me a little bit more freedom to be their friend and not their disciplinarian.
I love these girls, and the only thing I can think now is how hard it will be to say goodbye to them all. I am not in love with Honduras and eager to move on with my life, but these girls and their smiles will always hold a special spot in my heart.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
January 18b
January 18, 2010
I’ve been thinking about this entry for a week now and I think its just time I sit down and write it! It was terrible to leave my family in the states when I flew back to Honduras on the 10th. I cried like no grown man or woman should cry, and felt as if my insides were being torn out when I stopped hugging my mom to go into the airport. I said to my mom very strongly, “don’t let me do anything like this again!” There was some truth to it obviously, but also I think I was just emotionally overwhelmed with the task at hand.
When I arrived in San Pedro Sula at three o’clock in the morning I waited in line in customs and saw two smiling faces peering through the window… Yara and Emily had come to meet me at the airport. What a way to be welcomed back to Honduras! I had to wait in a long torturous line but finally I got to see them. It was so wonderful to have them arrive. They already had a taxi and we headed back to the house. Of course we had to catch up so I didn’t sleep until 5:30 AM! I slept till about noon and then around 2:30 when we get out of school, Dirian and Erika, my friends from Holy Family, came to the house to see me. It was so great to see them. We just sat in the living room chatting about the past three weeks.
Then later on I saw my neighbor friend again, went to the pulperia where they asked me about my vacation and where I’d been… I went to a restaurant on Tuesday and a friend of mine happened to be there… It was just all too wonderful. Excuse the Christian”y” lingo for a minute but God knew that coming back to Honduras was going to be very difficult after my wonderful time at home. I have no doubt that he blessed me for the transition. I have family here, I have friends here, and I have people who care about me and will help me in any situation I come across.
I can do this five more months… piece of cake!
I’ve been thinking about this entry for a week now and I think its just time I sit down and write it! It was terrible to leave my family in the states when I flew back to Honduras on the 10th. I cried like no grown man or woman should cry, and felt as if my insides were being torn out when I stopped hugging my mom to go into the airport. I said to my mom very strongly, “don’t let me do anything like this again!” There was some truth to it obviously, but also I think I was just emotionally overwhelmed with the task at hand.
When I arrived in San Pedro Sula at three o’clock in the morning I waited in line in customs and saw two smiling faces peering through the window… Yara and Emily had come to meet me at the airport. What a way to be welcomed back to Honduras! I had to wait in a long torturous line but finally I got to see them. It was so wonderful to have them arrive. They already had a taxi and we headed back to the house. Of course we had to catch up so I didn’t sleep until 5:30 AM! I slept till about noon and then around 2:30 when we get out of school, Dirian and Erika, my friends from Holy Family, came to the house to see me. It was so great to see them. We just sat in the living room chatting about the past three weeks.
Then later on I saw my neighbor friend again, went to the pulperia where they asked me about my vacation and where I’d been… I went to a restaurant on Tuesday and a friend of mine happened to be there… It was just all too wonderful. Excuse the Christian”y” lingo for a minute but God knew that coming back to Honduras was going to be very difficult after my wonderful time at home. I have no doubt that he blessed me for the transition. I have family here, I have friends here, and I have people who care about me and will help me in any situation I come across.
I can do this five more months… piece of cake!
January 18
January 18, 2010
So this will be just a quick entry about a special moment. So I have been trying to make a habit of running at the home every evening when the sun starts going down… trying the key word. I haven’t quite got my rhythm down but I’m doing better than before ;-) Anyway, today I arrived to help Riccy study for her reading exam. We spent about an hour and a half studying… among other things. Then I went outside to start running. I got about two laps in and one of the older girls named Brenda started running with me. I have had a harder time getting to know the older girls not for any reason on their part, just overall anxiety about how to be “cool” to a teenager… that makes me sound really old but its harder than you think!
Anyway, I asked her a little bit while we ran she answered we laughed some. She didn’t talk much but I think it was because she was tired… I was trying to encourage her a little bit but not be too overbearing. I said things like we are almost done you can run this whole workout with me and lets finish quick. I think she liked it though. I was really nervous about finishing running cause I didn’t know what I was going to say to her. But we finished I put my arm around her and told her it goes so much faster with a running partner. She smiled and put her arm around me and we walked around the block again for a cool down. I told her from now on I’m gonna bug her every time I go. Hopefully she is interested in training with me some.
Now that I write this down it seems much less significant… but those of you who know me know that running is very important for me. And, I love to be with people, so to be running and getting to know one of the girls was just perfect for me. Brenda putting her arm around me and giggling about the fact she can’t believe she made it the whole time with me was wonderful. I’m so thankful for these moments.
So this will be just a quick entry about a special moment. So I have been trying to make a habit of running at the home every evening when the sun starts going down… trying the key word. I haven’t quite got my rhythm down but I’m doing better than before ;-) Anyway, today I arrived to help Riccy study for her reading exam. We spent about an hour and a half studying… among other things. Then I went outside to start running. I got about two laps in and one of the older girls named Brenda started running with me. I have had a harder time getting to know the older girls not for any reason on their part, just overall anxiety about how to be “cool” to a teenager… that makes me sound really old but its harder than you think!
Anyway, I asked her a little bit while we ran she answered we laughed some. She didn’t talk much but I think it was because she was tired… I was trying to encourage her a little bit but not be too overbearing. I said things like we are almost done you can run this whole workout with me and lets finish quick. I think she liked it though. I was really nervous about finishing running cause I didn’t know what I was going to say to her. But we finished I put my arm around her and told her it goes so much faster with a running partner. She smiled and put her arm around me and we walked around the block again for a cool down. I told her from now on I’m gonna bug her every time I go. Hopefully she is interested in training with me some.
Now that I write this down it seems much less significant… but those of you who know me know that running is very important for me. And, I love to be with people, so to be running and getting to know one of the girls was just perfect for me. Brenda putting her arm around me and giggling about the fact she can’t believe she made it the whole time with me was wonderful. I’m so thankful for these moments.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
January 13
January 13, 2010
Wow, I want to share with you what a wonderful Christmas I had. I can’t really put into words that you will believe but I will highlight a couple special moments here;
The Christmas Eve service at St. Claire’s Episcopal Church in Ann Arbor was just what I needed this Christmas. Beth, the priest, preached about Joseph and Mary’s journey to Bethlehem. Both Mary and Joseph needed to be in a barn with the animals far away from home to be ready to welcome Jesus. After going into some detail about what this meant near the middle of her sermon Beth asked a rhetorical question that threw me for a loop. She asked, “Where is your Bethlehem?” Where do you need to be to Welcome Jesus? She mentioned that maybe it is at work, maybe in your quiet reflective space, maybe is at your favorite rock concert… (I’m doing a terrible job of covering everything in her wonderful sermon but hopefully I’ll express what was so great for me to hear.) Anyway, she also said, “Maybe you have had to travel very far to welcome Jesus.” I lost it, the tears came flowing. Now mind you they were happy tears! I suddenly had this huge realization that I was in my Bethlehem and ready and eager to welcome Jesus back into my life. The hard work of school in Honduras became a distraction to me where life had become a whirlwind of coping mechanisms. I needed to travel a long way home to be with the people who love me and know me for who I truly am. There in that ocean of love, I could welcome Jesus, and remind myself why what I am doing here in Honduras is soooo important. Since hearing this sermon I feel as if I was a young pop-eye cartoon that suddenly ate a lot of spinach and my muscles just popped (no pun intended) out of my arms! Unfortunately my muscles haven’t actually grown as big as pop-eyes but I do have this overwhelming sense of I can do this! Six months isn’t that long and Honduras isn’t that bad! I don’t know if Beth thought she had a good sermon or not this Christmas… But I don’t think I’ll ever forget it. And, I know its after Christmas but I think its worth asking you… Where is your Bethlehem?
Ok here are some wonderful moments I had with family;
~Every single moment with my new nephew Asher was unforgettable. He looks into my eyes and gives me this little grin that just makes my heart stop. What a beautiful happy baby he is!
~One early morning in pajamas, I was laying on the couch with Dash in my arms and we sang the alphabet and the Wheels on the Bus. It was a short-lived moment, but one that I truly cherish.
~Emmanuel and I gave a drum and guitar concert for Mama Xan and Mongi. It was a very special moment for me because it felt like the first time I was actually playing with Emmanuel rather than just entertaining. I had a blast!
~Xan and Kevin took Mongi and I to a Pistons game and we had an absolute blast. I told my dad later that it felt like Mongi and I were just going to a basketball game with College friends. I hardly even realized we had a two year old and a four month old along with us. I hardly felt like I was tagging along with my older sister and her family. I think maybe that is what love is, when babies feel like close friends and not just burdens. (That may sound rough but you know you have all thought it in your babysitting years right?)
~At Nelleke and Mike’s house we had a Christmas eve/Grandpa Rick’s Birthday dinner. They made absolutely delicious savory crepes. I could go on and on about the yummy crepes but that wasn’t what made this night so special. The most wonderful thing about it was to be sitting in a cheery Christmas beautifully lit room with so many of the people that I love. We had great conversation. I felt, and feel, so blessed to have a family that loves and appreciates each other so much.
~Another favorite time of mine was with Mongi at Xan and Kevin’s house. One of the first days of vacation we sat near the Christmas tree and drank tea. We didn’t talk about anything very noteworthy (to be honest I don’t even remember what we talked about) but I do know that after this sitting around the tree tea time, I felt like Christmas time had finally begun for me. I could start enjoying the season.
~The most relaxing and rejuvenating moments of my vacation happened and my father’s house. We saw two movies, did a jig-saw puzzle, and had one of my favorite meals, ENCHILADAS! It was wonderful to just completely shut off my mind and enjoy being free of responsibilities.
~The most inspiring moment of my whole vacation was being at my mama’s ordination. Wow! I didn’t know it was possible to have so many smiling people on one altar! The joy and delight in the room still chokes me up just thinking about it. It felt as if we all knew this should be happening and we were all so glad it was. I’m so proud of my mom and apparently so are a lot of other people. It was great to meet so many people at St. Paul’s that love her. I felt like a celebrity just being her daughter. She is in a great place, and they are lucky to have her.
These are only a few of the special moments I will not forget of this year’s Christmas. (Especially now that I documented them ) I was able to see Tara and Audra also which was a great gift also! Thank you family and friends for being a part of these moments!
Wow, I want to share with you what a wonderful Christmas I had. I can’t really put into words that you will believe but I will highlight a couple special moments here;
The Christmas Eve service at St. Claire’s Episcopal Church in Ann Arbor was just what I needed this Christmas. Beth, the priest, preached about Joseph and Mary’s journey to Bethlehem. Both Mary and Joseph needed to be in a barn with the animals far away from home to be ready to welcome Jesus. After going into some detail about what this meant near the middle of her sermon Beth asked a rhetorical question that threw me for a loop. She asked, “Where is your Bethlehem?” Where do you need to be to Welcome Jesus? She mentioned that maybe it is at work, maybe in your quiet reflective space, maybe is at your favorite rock concert… (I’m doing a terrible job of covering everything in her wonderful sermon but hopefully I’ll express what was so great for me to hear.) Anyway, she also said, “Maybe you have had to travel very far to welcome Jesus.” I lost it, the tears came flowing. Now mind you they were happy tears! I suddenly had this huge realization that I was in my Bethlehem and ready and eager to welcome Jesus back into my life. The hard work of school in Honduras became a distraction to me where life had become a whirlwind of coping mechanisms. I needed to travel a long way home to be with the people who love me and know me for who I truly am. There in that ocean of love, I could welcome Jesus, and remind myself why what I am doing here in Honduras is soooo important. Since hearing this sermon I feel as if I was a young pop-eye cartoon that suddenly ate a lot of spinach and my muscles just popped (no pun intended) out of my arms! Unfortunately my muscles haven’t actually grown as big as pop-eyes but I do have this overwhelming sense of I can do this! Six months isn’t that long and Honduras isn’t that bad! I don’t know if Beth thought she had a good sermon or not this Christmas… But I don’t think I’ll ever forget it. And, I know its after Christmas but I think its worth asking you… Where is your Bethlehem?
Ok here are some wonderful moments I had with family;
~Every single moment with my new nephew Asher was unforgettable. He looks into my eyes and gives me this little grin that just makes my heart stop. What a beautiful happy baby he is!
~One early morning in pajamas, I was laying on the couch with Dash in my arms and we sang the alphabet and the Wheels on the Bus. It was a short-lived moment, but one that I truly cherish.
~Emmanuel and I gave a drum and guitar concert for Mama Xan and Mongi. It was a very special moment for me because it felt like the first time I was actually playing with Emmanuel rather than just entertaining. I had a blast!
~Xan and Kevin took Mongi and I to a Pistons game and we had an absolute blast. I told my dad later that it felt like Mongi and I were just going to a basketball game with College friends. I hardly even realized we had a two year old and a four month old along with us. I hardly felt like I was tagging along with my older sister and her family. I think maybe that is what love is, when babies feel like close friends and not just burdens. (That may sound rough but you know you have all thought it in your babysitting years right?)
~At Nelleke and Mike’s house we had a Christmas eve/Grandpa Rick’s Birthday dinner. They made absolutely delicious savory crepes. I could go on and on about the yummy crepes but that wasn’t what made this night so special. The most wonderful thing about it was to be sitting in a cheery Christmas beautifully lit room with so many of the people that I love. We had great conversation. I felt, and feel, so blessed to have a family that loves and appreciates each other so much.
~Another favorite time of mine was with Mongi at Xan and Kevin’s house. One of the first days of vacation we sat near the Christmas tree and drank tea. We didn’t talk about anything very noteworthy (to be honest I don’t even remember what we talked about) but I do know that after this sitting around the tree tea time, I felt like Christmas time had finally begun for me. I could start enjoying the season.
~The most relaxing and rejuvenating moments of my vacation happened and my father’s house. We saw two movies, did a jig-saw puzzle, and had one of my favorite meals, ENCHILADAS! It was wonderful to just completely shut off my mind and enjoy being free of responsibilities.
~The most inspiring moment of my whole vacation was being at my mama’s ordination. Wow! I didn’t know it was possible to have so many smiling people on one altar! The joy and delight in the room still chokes me up just thinking about it. It felt as if we all knew this should be happening and we were all so glad it was. I’m so proud of my mom and apparently so are a lot of other people. It was great to meet so many people at St. Paul’s that love her. I felt like a celebrity just being her daughter. She is in a great place, and they are lucky to have her.
These are only a few of the special moments I will not forget of this year’s Christmas. (Especially now that I documented them ) I was able to see Tara and Audra also which was a great gift also! Thank you family and friends for being a part of these moments!
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Papa's Visit!
November 27, 2009
This is a long over due entry. You have been warned... Its LONG!
Papa’s Visit
Saturday, November 21, 2009 felt like the longest Saturday of my life. The day I had been looking forward to for six weeks was finally here. My papa was going to visit me in San Pedro Sula, Honduras to see where I had been living and what I had been doing since August 15, 2009, when he left me at the Chicago Airport. After trying to anxiously sleep Friday night, at eight o’clock I was up and at ‘em getting the house ready for my visitor. I did some laundry, watched a movie with Emily, took an afternoon nap, and made dinner. It felt like 8:50 was never going to come. Finally it was six-thirty, I had confirmed with my friend Dirian about going to pick my dad up. I sat waiting in front of the tv and thought maybe I should check the airline web page to se what the status of the flight was. Of course, to my dreadful unsurprised, my dad’s flight was going to be late. I didn’t know what to do with myself. Thankfully, when I called Dirian to let her know it was going to be later when my dad got in she said well, lets go get dinner and drinks and pass the time. She knew just what I needed to help make the last three hours of waiting for my father bearable. Yara, Dirian, Gerardo and I went to a funny gas station for dinner and anafres afterwards. They all teased me because I seemed nervous. I did feel nervous, not because I was worried about seeing my father again, but because I was really excited and I wanted it all to go well. I guess maybe a better word to describe how I was acting with them would have been distracted. I couldn’t be very present while waiting for my dad to arrive.
Finally at 12:15 or so, a gringo passed through the doors at the airport where a bunch of Honduran businessmen had passed through to my discontent moments earlier. I hugged my dad right away without letting him actually exit the marked off exit area. Suddenly my two worlds collided. Whether I was ready for it or not, I was going to have to share this amazing and emotional journey I had been on with someone who loved me. For some reason at that moment I felt it may be hard to connect the two worlds, but shortly after I would understand what a blessing it was to share my life here with someone back home. It was also very sweet to see how happy for me my friends where. Everybody’s eyes had a special glow in them and a smile on their face when they saw me waiting for, greeting, and then sticking close to my dad on the way home.
Dirian and Gerardo brought us back to the apartments. Dad and Yara had already hit it off as I knew they would. We sat in my living room chatting while drinking Quilmes beer and eating chips and salsa. It still felt surreal that my papa was in my living room in Honduras. A living room that has felt so lonely and empty suddenly was a place I wanted to be. I showed my dad around upstairs where I had prepared an apartment for him. All my third graders picked a letter in the phrase “bienvenido a Honduras”- Welcome to Honduras- to decorate my dads room with. The whole back wall was covered in bright construction paper, and I felt thankful for my third graders who helped me welcome my father. It sure warmed up the room well since it was not lived in and white and boring.
Sunday morning, we woke up and got ready to go to church. We walked with Brenda to the home and instantly I had this weird feeling of my two worlds crashing together. As I walked in the door the usual sweet girls were hugging me and greeting me, but then they welcomed and hugged my father too. They were so happy for me that my father could be visiting. I worried about how it would feel to these beautiful girls whose fathers had left them for many different reasons that my father, who has loved me and cared for me, made the trip all the way from the United States to see his daughter in little Honduras. I was amazed that they showed no hard feelings like this at all. These girls are filled with an amazing amount of love for everyone they come across. I didn’t feel much like myself that morning. I guess I felt unsure about how to bridge the gap between my life in Honduras and my life at home in the States, but I went with the flow and my dad and the girls made it happen for me. I was relieved of any pressure of introducing them or making conversation flow. We just were all together and I tried to relax.
As we got off the bus and waited for church to start my dad and I had a moment of happy tears. Not anything dramatic, but we just had a good conversation about what I was doing here. All through the service I had goosebumps. For the first time in my time in Honduras I felt proud of what I was doing, and I felt like someone cared I was doing it. It was so great to see my life and work from an outsiders point of view. As always after communion all the littler girls came out of Sunday school and joined me and my father in the pew. We wrapped our arms around each other and sang the final songs. I love these girls, and I am so thankful my dad gets to meet these girls who have found a special place in my heart.
After church we hopped back on the bus and I was feeling much more comfortable with the situation. I asked the tia if my dad could have lunch with the girls and she assured me that would be fine. We were served a huge plate full of rice and noodles. It was really good! Abby, Riccy, and Damaris, sat near us chatting away. Riccy seemed so happy to see my dad and to tease him. Riccy speaks great English and loves to have the chance to practice it even if she is a little shy about it.
It was time for my usual Sunday afternoon nap that I look forward to every week. When we woke up we decided to head to 105 Brigada, a military academy and fort in the city. They have festivals on the weekends of live music and lots of dancing. We met Emily, Yara, and her family there. Good times were had dancing the afternoon away. At six we left to have dinner at Peco’s Bill; a delicious Honduran restaurant that feels like a huge tree house. I had lomo al parilla a thinly sliced steak and my dad had a pork chop. We all shared a cubetazo, bucket of beer, and conversed about the different things about Honduras. After dinner we headed home to call it an early night. I was very nervous about teaching the next morning with my dad able to see what I was doing. I needed my sleep
Monday morning we were up by 5:30 and getting ready for the day. My dad walked with me to school and saw how I go about my usual Monday routine. Unfortunately, on Mondays I teach second grade, my naughtiest and least favorite class, three times! I guess it was a good opportunity for my dad to see how hard I am working here. On Mondays we meet in the chapel in the morning to have actos civicos or civic acts. The Social Studies teacher talked about what the world folklore meant and then about how important discipline is. The discipline lecture was surely added on at the last minute due to the fact that the director of Our Little Roses was there. My dad had a chance to talk with Diana a little bit about the elections coming up in Honduras. She had very strong opinions and my dad found that out quickly. At least it was a taste of what some Hondurans think is the case.
In each of my classes that day I had the kids introduce themselves and something about themselves or about their country they were proud of. It wasn’t a great activity though because most of my kids have a hard time sitting through class while I am teaching, let alone while there twenty classmates share something about themselves. I tried to go along with my regular lesson plans Monday but the kids were excited to have my dad in class and some of them acted out to get attention. That was hard for me, and a complete shock, I hadn’t thought of how it would affect the students to have a guest. Finally we made it to recess, my dad had a gringa (a tortilla with cheese and ham melted inside) and I had nachos from the school cafeteria. I had a couple more classes to teach but I sent papa home to have a nap and wait till I got out of school at 2:30. I then took my usual afternoon nap and when I woke up I decided we should head to the coca-cola sign.
The coca-cola sign is up in the mountains surrounding San Pedro. I love to run up the mountain on Saturday mornings when I get the chance. It’s a great workout and it gets that heart pumping! Anyway, we walked up to the coca-cola, and my dad made it even though he was afraid the whole way up he might not. We took pictures from the top and then quickly decided to head back down so we could get a taxi before it got too dark. When we got home I made my dad a yummy dinner of left over meat from Peco’s Bill, garlic noodles, and a baked potato. It was delicious if I do say so myself
Again we headed to bed early. I got up and headed to school on my own Tuesday morning feeling as if I would have a little more control over my classroom and feel like a better teacher if I started out alone. All the kids kept asking me where my dad was. He came to the school for my last class before recess and then sat with me and my teacher friends over lunch. After lunch we gathered all the students who were going to help me with the Thanksgiving service prayers to practice in the chapel. We practiced reading the prayer and then speaking loudly. The rest of the day was a planning period for me so we sat in the teacher’s lounge and I graded papers while we caught up. We headed to tutor the girls as I do three days a week. I felt so proud of my dad this afternoon because he just bit the bullet and got to helping a girl named Diana in fourth grade with her science and English homework. I loved to see them working together. My dad jumped in there faster than I have and I have been here for three months. It was very cool. I helped Catherine with her math homework… I’m getting less and less afraid of math! Isn’t that great Xan?
We went home after tutoring and had our normal rest time after school. Then my dad and I were ready to have some chill time together and we needed to find an ATM. So we headed out to the mall. We got money out of the ATM and had a great dinner for two at Pizza Hut. I know, I know, not very Honduran, but delicious anyway! We went home and spent a long time talking in Dad’s room just connecting again.
Wednesday, dad met me at school again for recess. It was so great to have someone see the experience of recess as it was one of the things that took the most getting used to. The kids run around like crazy and sometimes the teachers come out to “watch” them or to eat their own lunch. We practiced the Thanksgiving service prayers again and the six children had greatly improved from the day before! Another great thing about having visitors is that they can take pictures for you. My dad took a picture of me with each of my classes. I’m thankful to have those pictures to look back on. After school I had a teachers meeting that lasted almost two hours! It was terrible to sit through knowing that my dad was waiting for me at home. We had very exciting plans and I wanted to get the afternoon started! When I got out of my meeting I grabbed Dirian and ran home to pick up my dad. We quickly hopped into Dirian’s car to head to Diunsa, a target like store, to buy MARATHON jerseys. We had tickets to the Marathon game that night and we needed to be suited up for victory! It was a zoo at the store, it seemed like everyone and their brother was getting a shirt. We looked around and were shocked by the prices. We had started wondering if maybe we didn’t want to get a shirt when a woman who works at the store found me a shirt that was on sale for 200 lempiras (about ten dollars) that was originally 900 lempiras (about 45 dollars). Then she found my dad a similar sale. We hit the jackpot. Now we were ready to head to the stadium. Good thing because we had about ten minutes once we were back at the house before Yara’s family came to pick us up to bring us to the stadium. Once we arrived near the stadium we had to walk quite a ways. People were selling tickets and t-shirts, hats and flags, even stuffed animals of the mascots. Soccer is no joke here! So we got to the gate and there was a huge long line, so Yara’s family just said, get in line and we just made our way to the front of the line. A couple people moaned and groaned, but we couldn’t separate from each other so we just went for it. Once we got inside I bought my dad a baleada. The “typical” Honduran food that they are very proud of. A fresh hot tortilla with beans and cheese inside.
Then we headed into the stadium. The lights were beautiful on the bright green field. We started noticing that the men in Yara’s family were Olimpia fans (depressing I know) and they led us to sit on the Olimpia side. We weren’t the only Marathon fans… there were some split families and couples that reminded me of the MSU/UM families in Michigan. I don’t know how I can explain all the craziness that ensued. First you should know that Marathon was ahead the whole game and controlled the ball the whole game. It really didn’t seem fair actually. I don’t know what happened to Olimpia but I’m glad Marathon won. It was certainly a fun game to be a Marathon fan. These people are intense about their soccer games. You may have seen pictures or videos of fans climbing up the fences and climbing around the barbed wire, we saw that in real life. Its normal to throw trash out onto the field when you get angry over a refs call or when your team scores. And the craziest thing of all is that there were fireworks going off everywhere! A lot of the fans lit big fire crackers in the middle of huge mobs of fans and everyone would just hoot and hollar and dance in the smoke. Thankfully we were in a very tranquil part and none of this was happening around us. People even lit fireworks and then held them while they shot off their bright colorful sparks. At moments it was got nerve racking, my dad especially was nervous when I was tooting my horn and hollaring for Marathon after it was clear we had won. Vicotry is so sweet its hard to tame it no matter where you are sitting
At the end of the game the Marathon fans… did I forget to mention that this game determined the champions of the whole country for this year?... broke through the fence to rush the field and be a part of the cup ceremony. The police tried to hold the fans back but there were just too many and not enough police. Imagine something like five-hundred people trying to rush through a 12 foot hole in a fence. A little bit further down closer to where we were sitting people found a whole in the barbed wire and started flooding through there also. They had to jump about 16 feet I would guess after they climbed over the top. These people will risk a lot to celebrate an awesome victory!
We didn’t though. As soon as the Marathon fans started heading over to the Olimpia side to rub in the win, and as the Olimpia fans started getting riled up and trying to enter the field we decided we should probably head out. We rushed back to the car but we didn’t have any problems on the way home. Everyone seemed to be pretty chill about the situation. We hurried home and went to bed after a wonderful evening of cultural fun!
Happy Thanksgiving! I got to sleep in a little bit because we had a thanksgiving service at school and then a meal together. Papa had helped me throughout the week with getting my part of the service, the prayers, ready with my kids who were going to read. At the last minute Brenda asked me to translate for her because she was going to give a little introduction to our service. I at first wanted to say no, how about another teacher translates, but then Brenda said no you can do it. So I translated on the spot for Brenda and I felt so good about it. I’m really getting this Spanish thing down. Yara and Papa came together to the service, dripping wet I might add because it was a very rainy day. After the wonderful service that was tear jerking for me, all the kids went upstairs and ate in their classrooms. One of the teachers moms made chicken mashed potatoes and corn for every kid. It was sweet to see all the students put their chairs in circles to eat together. After all the students left, we went out to dinner with all the teachers. We went to a fancy casino and had a delicious thanksgiving meal. Bishop Frade paid for our meal and we had a very nice time with the teachers. We went back home and had a quick nap before we went out all together to Don Udos a dutch restaurant for Brenda’s birthday. It was unfortunately not a great time, the waiter tried to screw us over and over again and I had to fight with him every step of the way. My food wasn’t that great but the conversation was good. We went to bed quickly after we got home because the next morning we had to be up very early to catch a bus to Utila.
Oh Friday… Friday Friday Friday. One thing sticks out in my head from this day. The ferry ride of doom. I’ll get to that. First we took a taxi to the bus station to get a bus to la ceiba a city on the edge of Honduras. We showed up at the bus station before anything opened and were reminded again that Hondurans don’t do anything early. We waited at the stop for about an hour before we got on the bus to la ceiba. One funny thing that still makes me laugh is that one of the people getting on the bus was really sleepy this morning and she walked right into the window… like full out comedy sketch ran into the window. I do feel bad for her but it was really funny. I’m sorry to be rude but you would’ve laughed too if you saw it.
Anyway, we got to la ceiba eager and ready to go. We loaded our backpacks on the ferry and I remember saying to my dad, um are all these people going to fit on that boat? It looked like there were way to many people to fit. Anyway, we all piled on running through the rain. This ferry boat was, what Emily calls a plexiglass bubble of hell, and a warped steal torture chamber. The first twenty minutes were kind of fun. We free fell over and over again probably atleast ten feet. It felt a little bit like cedar point. It took a turn for the worst when the woman infront of me started vomiting, and then the little girl behind me, and then her grandmother and then Emily. The whole boat smelled like vomit and there was no fresh air. Thankfully Brenda lent me her chapstick and a piece of mint gum to try to fend off the terrible smell. I didn’t get sick, and neither did papa, but it took all the energy we had to not toss our cookies. Blah! I have never been so thankful to get off the boat.
We arrived on the cute little island of Utila and checked out our hotel. Our hotel, Utila Lodge, was a great place. It had a lot of space to eat and sit around that looked over the water. We rested and tried to recover from the ferry ride for a long time reading, snoozing in the hammock, and watching the rain pour down.
Saturday we woke up to still more rain. I think it rained for at least 24 hours straight. But again we enjoyed ourselves anyway. The food at the lodge was delicious and we got some very good R and R in. We decided Saturday afternoon to take a walk through the little town. People were out, and thankfully the rain did stop a bit. I asked around for a long sleeve shirt or sweatshirt but of course they don’t sell warm clothes on the island. I was freezing! Later in the afternoon between naps and reading, Emily, papa, and I did a crossword. It felt like I was at home again sitting in Papa’s house.
On a side note, on Saturday the owner of the lodge told us “the Spanish are coming!” referring to the elections that were going to be happening the next day. I said what? The Spanish? And she said o you know, the Hondurans, they’re all the same. I was very offended but I think she understood that and felt a little sheepish about what she said. I can only hope. Anyway, apparently one of the mayoral candidates had threatened to bring over some Honduran mainlanders to vote on Utilas island. The proud island people did not like that so I guess some drama was going down.
Sunday we woke up and there was sunshine! There was finally a break in the rain. We were overwhelmed with what we should do to pass the beautiful day. We spent time taking naps and reading in the morning and then went to go rent bikes! We rented bikes from a very sweet family who just had a bunch of bikes in their garage. For five bucks each we got the bike for the whole day. We biked around the back side of the island and stopped every once in a while to check out the shore. Emily and I hadn’t prepared for sun though so we had to go back early and put some sunscreen on. It was almost time for lunch at the lodge anyway so it was no problem. We ate and then spent three hours out on the deck reading, swimming, and finally feeling like we were on vacation near the ocean. Dad and I took our bikes on another trip around the other side of the Island and found a public beach. A team of twenty somethings were playing soccer on the beach with little stick goals. It was very cool to see but they almost hit papa with their ball. They all kind of sheepishly laughed and I wished I had thought of something witty to say to them. The problem is, in Utila, you don’t know if people speak English, Spanish, an islander something, or a mix of all three. So I was all mixed up in how I should talk to people. Sunday night we ate at Evelyn’s bar-b- que. It was very yummy.
We went to bed early Sunday again because we had to get up early to make the journey back to the city. Papa and I were awakened by the screaming and celebrating of people on the island about the election results. We walked outside and watched people pass in the street from behind the gate where we were locked in at the hotel. I just love the way Latinos celebrate anything and everything. What a wonderful way to live. Anyway, so Monday we had to get up early and had to step back onto that ferry if you can believe it. Thankfully the weather was much better. I actually slept the whole way back on papa’s lap. Then we had to take a long bus trip back to the city. I had to haggle with a lot of the taxi drivers to get a reasonable price but finally we all ended up back at home ready to chill. Later in the evening we went out to Karinas, a very Honduran bar that has great food for very cheap. We had fried chicken, tajadas (plantain chip dealys) and chimol, a mix of tomatoes, green pepper and onion all cut up and mixed together. It was all delicious and cost only three American dollars! We had a great talk with my friend Carlos, our neighbor, about the political situation in Honduras. He had a very interesting point of view and it was good to hear another side of the story rather than what the rich media people are producing. When we got home papa packed up his stuff.
Early Tuesday morning, I had one last chance to say goodbye to my papa. Thankfully this wasn’t too terrible because I knew I would see him in just three weeks. I went to school that morning, sad but also very content and happy to have such a great family.
I am so thankful for my dad’s visit. It has helped put things in perspective here. Thank you papa for taking the time and spending the money to come visit me!
This is a long over due entry. You have been warned... Its LONG!
Papa’s Visit
Saturday, November 21, 2009 felt like the longest Saturday of my life. The day I had been looking forward to for six weeks was finally here. My papa was going to visit me in San Pedro Sula, Honduras to see where I had been living and what I had been doing since August 15, 2009, when he left me at the Chicago Airport. After trying to anxiously sleep Friday night, at eight o’clock I was up and at ‘em getting the house ready for my visitor. I did some laundry, watched a movie with Emily, took an afternoon nap, and made dinner. It felt like 8:50 was never going to come. Finally it was six-thirty, I had confirmed with my friend Dirian about going to pick my dad up. I sat waiting in front of the tv and thought maybe I should check the airline web page to se what the status of the flight was. Of course, to my dreadful unsurprised, my dad’s flight was going to be late. I didn’t know what to do with myself. Thankfully, when I called Dirian to let her know it was going to be later when my dad got in she said well, lets go get dinner and drinks and pass the time. She knew just what I needed to help make the last three hours of waiting for my father bearable. Yara, Dirian, Gerardo and I went to a funny gas station for dinner and anafres afterwards. They all teased me because I seemed nervous. I did feel nervous, not because I was worried about seeing my father again, but because I was really excited and I wanted it all to go well. I guess maybe a better word to describe how I was acting with them would have been distracted. I couldn’t be very present while waiting for my dad to arrive.
Finally at 12:15 or so, a gringo passed through the doors at the airport where a bunch of Honduran businessmen had passed through to my discontent moments earlier. I hugged my dad right away without letting him actually exit the marked off exit area. Suddenly my two worlds collided. Whether I was ready for it or not, I was going to have to share this amazing and emotional journey I had been on with someone who loved me. For some reason at that moment I felt it may be hard to connect the two worlds, but shortly after I would understand what a blessing it was to share my life here with someone back home. It was also very sweet to see how happy for me my friends where. Everybody’s eyes had a special glow in them and a smile on their face when they saw me waiting for, greeting, and then sticking close to my dad on the way home.
Dirian and Gerardo brought us back to the apartments. Dad and Yara had already hit it off as I knew they would. We sat in my living room chatting while drinking Quilmes beer and eating chips and salsa. It still felt surreal that my papa was in my living room in Honduras. A living room that has felt so lonely and empty suddenly was a place I wanted to be. I showed my dad around upstairs where I had prepared an apartment for him. All my third graders picked a letter in the phrase “bienvenido a Honduras”- Welcome to Honduras- to decorate my dads room with. The whole back wall was covered in bright construction paper, and I felt thankful for my third graders who helped me welcome my father. It sure warmed up the room well since it was not lived in and white and boring.
Sunday morning, we woke up and got ready to go to church. We walked with Brenda to the home and instantly I had this weird feeling of my two worlds crashing together. As I walked in the door the usual sweet girls were hugging me and greeting me, but then they welcomed and hugged my father too. They were so happy for me that my father could be visiting. I worried about how it would feel to these beautiful girls whose fathers had left them for many different reasons that my father, who has loved me and cared for me, made the trip all the way from the United States to see his daughter in little Honduras. I was amazed that they showed no hard feelings like this at all. These girls are filled with an amazing amount of love for everyone they come across. I didn’t feel much like myself that morning. I guess I felt unsure about how to bridge the gap between my life in Honduras and my life at home in the States, but I went with the flow and my dad and the girls made it happen for me. I was relieved of any pressure of introducing them or making conversation flow. We just were all together and I tried to relax.
As we got off the bus and waited for church to start my dad and I had a moment of happy tears. Not anything dramatic, but we just had a good conversation about what I was doing here. All through the service I had goosebumps. For the first time in my time in Honduras I felt proud of what I was doing, and I felt like someone cared I was doing it. It was so great to see my life and work from an outsiders point of view. As always after communion all the littler girls came out of Sunday school and joined me and my father in the pew. We wrapped our arms around each other and sang the final songs. I love these girls, and I am so thankful my dad gets to meet these girls who have found a special place in my heart.
After church we hopped back on the bus and I was feeling much more comfortable with the situation. I asked the tia if my dad could have lunch with the girls and she assured me that would be fine. We were served a huge plate full of rice and noodles. It was really good! Abby, Riccy, and Damaris, sat near us chatting away. Riccy seemed so happy to see my dad and to tease him. Riccy speaks great English and loves to have the chance to practice it even if she is a little shy about it.
It was time for my usual Sunday afternoon nap that I look forward to every week. When we woke up we decided to head to 105 Brigada, a military academy and fort in the city. They have festivals on the weekends of live music and lots of dancing. We met Emily, Yara, and her family there. Good times were had dancing the afternoon away. At six we left to have dinner at Peco’s Bill; a delicious Honduran restaurant that feels like a huge tree house. I had lomo al parilla a thinly sliced steak and my dad had a pork chop. We all shared a cubetazo, bucket of beer, and conversed about the different things about Honduras. After dinner we headed home to call it an early night. I was very nervous about teaching the next morning with my dad able to see what I was doing. I needed my sleep
Monday morning we were up by 5:30 and getting ready for the day. My dad walked with me to school and saw how I go about my usual Monday routine. Unfortunately, on Mondays I teach second grade, my naughtiest and least favorite class, three times! I guess it was a good opportunity for my dad to see how hard I am working here. On Mondays we meet in the chapel in the morning to have actos civicos or civic acts. The Social Studies teacher talked about what the world folklore meant and then about how important discipline is. The discipline lecture was surely added on at the last minute due to the fact that the director of Our Little Roses was there. My dad had a chance to talk with Diana a little bit about the elections coming up in Honduras. She had very strong opinions and my dad found that out quickly. At least it was a taste of what some Hondurans think is the case.
In each of my classes that day I had the kids introduce themselves and something about themselves or about their country they were proud of. It wasn’t a great activity though because most of my kids have a hard time sitting through class while I am teaching, let alone while there twenty classmates share something about themselves. I tried to go along with my regular lesson plans Monday but the kids were excited to have my dad in class and some of them acted out to get attention. That was hard for me, and a complete shock, I hadn’t thought of how it would affect the students to have a guest. Finally we made it to recess, my dad had a gringa (a tortilla with cheese and ham melted inside) and I had nachos from the school cafeteria. I had a couple more classes to teach but I sent papa home to have a nap and wait till I got out of school at 2:30. I then took my usual afternoon nap and when I woke up I decided we should head to the coca-cola sign.
The coca-cola sign is up in the mountains surrounding San Pedro. I love to run up the mountain on Saturday mornings when I get the chance. It’s a great workout and it gets that heart pumping! Anyway, we walked up to the coca-cola, and my dad made it even though he was afraid the whole way up he might not. We took pictures from the top and then quickly decided to head back down so we could get a taxi before it got too dark. When we got home I made my dad a yummy dinner of left over meat from Peco’s Bill, garlic noodles, and a baked potato. It was delicious if I do say so myself
Again we headed to bed early. I got up and headed to school on my own Tuesday morning feeling as if I would have a little more control over my classroom and feel like a better teacher if I started out alone. All the kids kept asking me where my dad was. He came to the school for my last class before recess and then sat with me and my teacher friends over lunch. After lunch we gathered all the students who were going to help me with the Thanksgiving service prayers to practice in the chapel. We practiced reading the prayer and then speaking loudly. The rest of the day was a planning period for me so we sat in the teacher’s lounge and I graded papers while we caught up. We headed to tutor the girls as I do three days a week. I felt so proud of my dad this afternoon because he just bit the bullet and got to helping a girl named Diana in fourth grade with her science and English homework. I loved to see them working together. My dad jumped in there faster than I have and I have been here for three months. It was very cool. I helped Catherine with her math homework… I’m getting less and less afraid of math! Isn’t that great Xan?
We went home after tutoring and had our normal rest time after school. Then my dad and I were ready to have some chill time together and we needed to find an ATM. So we headed out to the mall. We got money out of the ATM and had a great dinner for two at Pizza Hut. I know, I know, not very Honduran, but delicious anyway! We went home and spent a long time talking in Dad’s room just connecting again.
Wednesday, dad met me at school again for recess. It was so great to have someone see the experience of recess as it was one of the things that took the most getting used to. The kids run around like crazy and sometimes the teachers come out to “watch” them or to eat their own lunch. We practiced the Thanksgiving service prayers again and the six children had greatly improved from the day before! Another great thing about having visitors is that they can take pictures for you. My dad took a picture of me with each of my classes. I’m thankful to have those pictures to look back on. After school I had a teachers meeting that lasted almost two hours! It was terrible to sit through knowing that my dad was waiting for me at home. We had very exciting plans and I wanted to get the afternoon started! When I got out of my meeting I grabbed Dirian and ran home to pick up my dad. We quickly hopped into Dirian’s car to head to Diunsa, a target like store, to buy MARATHON jerseys. We had tickets to the Marathon game that night and we needed to be suited up for victory! It was a zoo at the store, it seemed like everyone and their brother was getting a shirt. We looked around and were shocked by the prices. We had started wondering if maybe we didn’t want to get a shirt when a woman who works at the store found me a shirt that was on sale for 200 lempiras (about ten dollars) that was originally 900 lempiras (about 45 dollars). Then she found my dad a similar sale. We hit the jackpot. Now we were ready to head to the stadium. Good thing because we had about ten minutes once we were back at the house before Yara’s family came to pick us up to bring us to the stadium. Once we arrived near the stadium we had to walk quite a ways. People were selling tickets and t-shirts, hats and flags, even stuffed animals of the mascots. Soccer is no joke here! So we got to the gate and there was a huge long line, so Yara’s family just said, get in line and we just made our way to the front of the line. A couple people moaned and groaned, but we couldn’t separate from each other so we just went for it. Once we got inside I bought my dad a baleada. The “typical” Honduran food that they are very proud of. A fresh hot tortilla with beans and cheese inside.
Then we headed into the stadium. The lights were beautiful on the bright green field. We started noticing that the men in Yara’s family were Olimpia fans (depressing I know) and they led us to sit on the Olimpia side. We weren’t the only Marathon fans… there were some split families and couples that reminded me of the MSU/UM families in Michigan. I don’t know how I can explain all the craziness that ensued. First you should know that Marathon was ahead the whole game and controlled the ball the whole game. It really didn’t seem fair actually. I don’t know what happened to Olimpia but I’m glad Marathon won. It was certainly a fun game to be a Marathon fan. These people are intense about their soccer games. You may have seen pictures or videos of fans climbing up the fences and climbing around the barbed wire, we saw that in real life. Its normal to throw trash out onto the field when you get angry over a refs call or when your team scores. And the craziest thing of all is that there were fireworks going off everywhere! A lot of the fans lit big fire crackers in the middle of huge mobs of fans and everyone would just hoot and hollar and dance in the smoke. Thankfully we were in a very tranquil part and none of this was happening around us. People even lit fireworks and then held them while they shot off their bright colorful sparks. At moments it was got nerve racking, my dad especially was nervous when I was tooting my horn and hollaring for Marathon after it was clear we had won. Vicotry is so sweet its hard to tame it no matter where you are sitting
At the end of the game the Marathon fans… did I forget to mention that this game determined the champions of the whole country for this year?... broke through the fence to rush the field and be a part of the cup ceremony. The police tried to hold the fans back but there were just too many and not enough police. Imagine something like five-hundred people trying to rush through a 12 foot hole in a fence. A little bit further down closer to where we were sitting people found a whole in the barbed wire and started flooding through there also. They had to jump about 16 feet I would guess after they climbed over the top. These people will risk a lot to celebrate an awesome victory!
We didn’t though. As soon as the Marathon fans started heading over to the Olimpia side to rub in the win, and as the Olimpia fans started getting riled up and trying to enter the field we decided we should probably head out. We rushed back to the car but we didn’t have any problems on the way home. Everyone seemed to be pretty chill about the situation. We hurried home and went to bed after a wonderful evening of cultural fun!
Happy Thanksgiving! I got to sleep in a little bit because we had a thanksgiving service at school and then a meal together. Papa had helped me throughout the week with getting my part of the service, the prayers, ready with my kids who were going to read. At the last minute Brenda asked me to translate for her because she was going to give a little introduction to our service. I at first wanted to say no, how about another teacher translates, but then Brenda said no you can do it. So I translated on the spot for Brenda and I felt so good about it. I’m really getting this Spanish thing down. Yara and Papa came together to the service, dripping wet I might add because it was a very rainy day. After the wonderful service that was tear jerking for me, all the kids went upstairs and ate in their classrooms. One of the teachers moms made chicken mashed potatoes and corn for every kid. It was sweet to see all the students put their chairs in circles to eat together. After all the students left, we went out to dinner with all the teachers. We went to a fancy casino and had a delicious thanksgiving meal. Bishop Frade paid for our meal and we had a very nice time with the teachers. We went back home and had a quick nap before we went out all together to Don Udos a dutch restaurant for Brenda’s birthday. It was unfortunately not a great time, the waiter tried to screw us over and over again and I had to fight with him every step of the way. My food wasn’t that great but the conversation was good. We went to bed quickly after we got home because the next morning we had to be up very early to catch a bus to Utila.
Oh Friday… Friday Friday Friday. One thing sticks out in my head from this day. The ferry ride of doom. I’ll get to that. First we took a taxi to the bus station to get a bus to la ceiba a city on the edge of Honduras. We showed up at the bus station before anything opened and were reminded again that Hondurans don’t do anything early. We waited at the stop for about an hour before we got on the bus to la ceiba. One funny thing that still makes me laugh is that one of the people getting on the bus was really sleepy this morning and she walked right into the window… like full out comedy sketch ran into the window. I do feel bad for her but it was really funny. I’m sorry to be rude but you would’ve laughed too if you saw it.
Anyway, we got to la ceiba eager and ready to go. We loaded our backpacks on the ferry and I remember saying to my dad, um are all these people going to fit on that boat? It looked like there were way to many people to fit. Anyway, we all piled on running through the rain. This ferry boat was, what Emily calls a plexiglass bubble of hell, and a warped steal torture chamber. The first twenty minutes were kind of fun. We free fell over and over again probably atleast ten feet. It felt a little bit like cedar point. It took a turn for the worst when the woman infront of me started vomiting, and then the little girl behind me, and then her grandmother and then Emily. The whole boat smelled like vomit and there was no fresh air. Thankfully Brenda lent me her chapstick and a piece of mint gum to try to fend off the terrible smell. I didn’t get sick, and neither did papa, but it took all the energy we had to not toss our cookies. Blah! I have never been so thankful to get off the boat.
We arrived on the cute little island of Utila and checked out our hotel. Our hotel, Utila Lodge, was a great place. It had a lot of space to eat and sit around that looked over the water. We rested and tried to recover from the ferry ride for a long time reading, snoozing in the hammock, and watching the rain pour down.
Saturday we woke up to still more rain. I think it rained for at least 24 hours straight. But again we enjoyed ourselves anyway. The food at the lodge was delicious and we got some very good R and R in. We decided Saturday afternoon to take a walk through the little town. People were out, and thankfully the rain did stop a bit. I asked around for a long sleeve shirt or sweatshirt but of course they don’t sell warm clothes on the island. I was freezing! Later in the afternoon between naps and reading, Emily, papa, and I did a crossword. It felt like I was at home again sitting in Papa’s house.
On a side note, on Saturday the owner of the lodge told us “the Spanish are coming!” referring to the elections that were going to be happening the next day. I said what? The Spanish? And she said o you know, the Hondurans, they’re all the same. I was very offended but I think she understood that and felt a little sheepish about what she said. I can only hope. Anyway, apparently one of the mayoral candidates had threatened to bring over some Honduran mainlanders to vote on Utilas island. The proud island people did not like that so I guess some drama was going down.
Sunday we woke up and there was sunshine! There was finally a break in the rain. We were overwhelmed with what we should do to pass the beautiful day. We spent time taking naps and reading in the morning and then went to go rent bikes! We rented bikes from a very sweet family who just had a bunch of bikes in their garage. For five bucks each we got the bike for the whole day. We biked around the back side of the island and stopped every once in a while to check out the shore. Emily and I hadn’t prepared for sun though so we had to go back early and put some sunscreen on. It was almost time for lunch at the lodge anyway so it was no problem. We ate and then spent three hours out on the deck reading, swimming, and finally feeling like we were on vacation near the ocean. Dad and I took our bikes on another trip around the other side of the Island and found a public beach. A team of twenty somethings were playing soccer on the beach with little stick goals. It was very cool to see but they almost hit papa with their ball. They all kind of sheepishly laughed and I wished I had thought of something witty to say to them. The problem is, in Utila, you don’t know if people speak English, Spanish, an islander something, or a mix of all three. So I was all mixed up in how I should talk to people. Sunday night we ate at Evelyn’s bar-b- que. It was very yummy.
We went to bed early Sunday again because we had to get up early to make the journey back to the city. Papa and I were awakened by the screaming and celebrating of people on the island about the election results. We walked outside and watched people pass in the street from behind the gate where we were locked in at the hotel. I just love the way Latinos celebrate anything and everything. What a wonderful way to live. Anyway, so Monday we had to get up early and had to step back onto that ferry if you can believe it. Thankfully the weather was much better. I actually slept the whole way back on papa’s lap. Then we had to take a long bus trip back to the city. I had to haggle with a lot of the taxi drivers to get a reasonable price but finally we all ended up back at home ready to chill. Later in the evening we went out to Karinas, a very Honduran bar that has great food for very cheap. We had fried chicken, tajadas (plantain chip dealys) and chimol, a mix of tomatoes, green pepper and onion all cut up and mixed together. It was all delicious and cost only three American dollars! We had a great talk with my friend Carlos, our neighbor, about the political situation in Honduras. He had a very interesting point of view and it was good to hear another side of the story rather than what the rich media people are producing. When we got home papa packed up his stuff.
Early Tuesday morning, I had one last chance to say goodbye to my papa. Thankfully this wasn’t too terrible because I knew I would see him in just three weeks. I went to school that morning, sad but also very content and happy to have such a great family.
I am so thankful for my dad’s visit. It has helped put things in perspective here. Thank you papa for taking the time and spending the money to come visit me!
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
November 1 B
November 1, 2009
FUN TEACHING MOMENT!
I’ve got to hang on to these when I have them, because they can easily and quickly fade into the constant exhaustion of being a teacher.
I had to give exams last week so in order to study for them and prepare for them with my first graders I came up with a really simple game. I had all the questions from the exam, and a couple more to get them thinking, prepared ahead of time. I split the class up into two groups. I asked them what they wanted to be called. The first team picked “Honduras” not very original but sweet how proud of their little country they are. The second team then picked The United States. The kids here in Honduras are always on a soccer kick, no pun intended, and Honduras had just played the US. Anyway, I then asked each team a question. My normal rules for games are no shouting, you must raise your hand, you must be in your seat, and your team will lose points if you are a bad sport. My students raised their hands to answer my questions from the exam and if they got it right they got to draw and X or an O on the big Tic Tac Toe squares I had written on the board. They loved it. Tic tac toe in Spanish is called equis o cero.
Everyone was having a good time and they were answering almost all the questions right until suddenly one team won. I don’t even remember if it was the United States or Honduras that won, but winning and losing is not easy as a first grader. Part of this teaching experience has been learning how young my students really are. Often my expectations are too high and I have to readjust to fit their ability level. Anyway, I learned that next time we play a review game, it will have to be the whole class against the teacher. It seems like a simple good idea now, but until you understand that its hard for first graders to lose do you think of such ideas. I’m eager to try this next time because I think it could encourage some good teamwork also.
I also learned this first quarter that first graders and second graders actually are too young to be able to keep track of papers. This is a problem since Phonics is basically worksheet after worksheet out of a work book. I used to have them hand in the papers I was going to be grading but they either didn’t make it to me after they tore the page out, or they never tore it out, or some alien or puppy at it. Who knows, anyway this past week I have had numerous parents, (of course only the parents whose children are doing well) ask me about the pages. Next quarter I will be collecting the Phonics workbook every Friday and not tearing out any pages of the book. Hopefully the first graders and I will have better luck with this strategy.
You live you learn right? As I write this entry I realize how much I love first graders. They are a great age. They are who they are, they do not change anything about themselves for others to like them. They hardly ever do anything wrong on purpose, and they just make me laugh with some of the things, noises and sentences, that come out of their mouths and brains. I’m eager to see them tomorrow.
FUN TEACHING MOMENT!
I’ve got to hang on to these when I have them, because they can easily and quickly fade into the constant exhaustion of being a teacher.
I had to give exams last week so in order to study for them and prepare for them with my first graders I came up with a really simple game. I had all the questions from the exam, and a couple more to get them thinking, prepared ahead of time. I split the class up into two groups. I asked them what they wanted to be called. The first team picked “Honduras” not very original but sweet how proud of their little country they are. The second team then picked The United States. The kids here in Honduras are always on a soccer kick, no pun intended, and Honduras had just played the US. Anyway, I then asked each team a question. My normal rules for games are no shouting, you must raise your hand, you must be in your seat, and your team will lose points if you are a bad sport. My students raised their hands to answer my questions from the exam and if they got it right they got to draw and X or an O on the big Tic Tac Toe squares I had written on the board. They loved it. Tic tac toe in Spanish is called equis o cero.
Everyone was having a good time and they were answering almost all the questions right until suddenly one team won. I don’t even remember if it was the United States or Honduras that won, but winning and losing is not easy as a first grader. Part of this teaching experience has been learning how young my students really are. Often my expectations are too high and I have to readjust to fit their ability level. Anyway, I learned that next time we play a review game, it will have to be the whole class against the teacher. It seems like a simple good idea now, but until you understand that its hard for first graders to lose do you think of such ideas. I’m eager to try this next time because I think it could encourage some good teamwork also.
I also learned this first quarter that first graders and second graders actually are too young to be able to keep track of papers. This is a problem since Phonics is basically worksheet after worksheet out of a work book. I used to have them hand in the papers I was going to be grading but they either didn’t make it to me after they tore the page out, or they never tore it out, or some alien or puppy at it. Who knows, anyway this past week I have had numerous parents, (of course only the parents whose children are doing well) ask me about the pages. Next quarter I will be collecting the Phonics workbook every Friday and not tearing out any pages of the book. Hopefully the first graders and I will have better luck with this strategy.
You live you learn right? As I write this entry I realize how much I love first graders. They are a great age. They are who they are, they do not change anything about themselves for others to like them. They hardly ever do anything wrong on purpose, and they just make me laugh with some of the things, noises and sentences, that come out of their mouths and brains. I’m eager to see them tomorrow.
November 1 A
November 1, 2009
First things first; happy baptism to my sweet nephew Asher H.R. Morgan! I have not been able to talk with my family today because our internet is once again down. I’m sure today was a joyous occasion. I’m so thankful to be a part of the Christian family that Asher joined today. I feel loved and supported by so many people in the church I’m eager to watch Asher grow up in his own church community as his brother Emmanuel has already started. Asher you have been in my head and heart today. I love you and welcome you into the loving, forgiving, patient arms of God.
A couple days after I arrived in San Pedro Sula I was sitting outside with some of the girls between the ages of 9 and 13 watching them play hop-scotch. I was emotionally exhausted from the newness of everything, probably physically exhausted also, and one of the girls named Rosa was not very nice to me at all. I was shocked by her cold reaction to my trying to get to know them. I wasn’t exactly sure what to say at that point, but I waited and tried to continue hanging out. Rosa was dancing while playing hop-scotch in a very sexual way. It was so weird to see this 12 year old little girl dancing the way she was. I hurt for her, and because of that hurt, and how she had hurt me by being unwelcoming I kept my distance from Rosa. I think I reacted because it just felt like she was too much, I couldn’t relate to her and wanted to protect myself from the hurt and embarrassment she had caused me. Anyway, about two months passed of being cordial but never actually connecting. We’d play against each other on the soccer field and say hello during school but nothing more, ever. Then last week, or maybe two weeks ago, everything blurs together after awhile, I had the opportunity to connect with Rosa. I was helping a sixth grader Catherine with her math homework when Rosa called me over to help her. I jumped at the chance. I walked right over to her and asked her what she was doing.
My normal reaction would have been to tell her that I was busy with Catherine and that she needed to wait till I was done, but something came over me and I reacted in a way that proved to be key. I asked Catherine to move with me over to the table where Rosa was working so I could help them both. Catherine was working on the most beginning stages of learning factoring which I could only figure out thanks to her book, and Rosa was doing long multiplication. PS you should know that I HATE math! Anyway, I was actually helping them with math, big deal. But the best thing of all was that I had fun with Rosa, and it gave me the opportunity to see a wonderful side of her. We laughed and it felt like we were playing a game together to get her math homework done.
We didn’t have any “you mean the world to me” moments, but it is another little victory that God has blessed me with. These girls, injured and hurt in more ways than I can even imagine or understand are beautiful children of God. I am thankful for their presence in my life.
First things first; happy baptism to my sweet nephew Asher H.R. Morgan! I have not been able to talk with my family today because our internet is once again down. I’m sure today was a joyous occasion. I’m so thankful to be a part of the Christian family that Asher joined today. I feel loved and supported by so many people in the church I’m eager to watch Asher grow up in his own church community as his brother Emmanuel has already started. Asher you have been in my head and heart today. I love you and welcome you into the loving, forgiving, patient arms of God.
A couple days after I arrived in San Pedro Sula I was sitting outside with some of the girls between the ages of 9 and 13 watching them play hop-scotch. I was emotionally exhausted from the newness of everything, probably physically exhausted also, and one of the girls named Rosa was not very nice to me at all. I was shocked by her cold reaction to my trying to get to know them. I wasn’t exactly sure what to say at that point, but I waited and tried to continue hanging out. Rosa was dancing while playing hop-scotch in a very sexual way. It was so weird to see this 12 year old little girl dancing the way she was. I hurt for her, and because of that hurt, and how she had hurt me by being unwelcoming I kept my distance from Rosa. I think I reacted because it just felt like she was too much, I couldn’t relate to her and wanted to protect myself from the hurt and embarrassment she had caused me. Anyway, about two months passed of being cordial but never actually connecting. We’d play against each other on the soccer field and say hello during school but nothing more, ever. Then last week, or maybe two weeks ago, everything blurs together after awhile, I had the opportunity to connect with Rosa. I was helping a sixth grader Catherine with her math homework when Rosa called me over to help her. I jumped at the chance. I walked right over to her and asked her what she was doing.
My normal reaction would have been to tell her that I was busy with Catherine and that she needed to wait till I was done, but something came over me and I reacted in a way that proved to be key. I asked Catherine to move with me over to the table where Rosa was working so I could help them both. Catherine was working on the most beginning stages of learning factoring which I could only figure out thanks to her book, and Rosa was doing long multiplication. PS you should know that I HATE math! Anyway, I was actually helping them with math, big deal. But the best thing of all was that I had fun with Rosa, and it gave me the opportunity to see a wonderful side of her. We laughed and it felt like we were playing a game together to get her math homework done.
We didn’t have any “you mean the world to me” moments, but it is another little victory that God has blessed me with. These girls, injured and hurt in more ways than I can even imagine or understand are beautiful children of God. I am thankful for their presence in my life.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
October 29, 2009
October 29, 2009
Today, I am sitting in the teachers lounge at school with time to update my blog, and study for the GRE. This week was exam week and so the students have a different schedule, they arrive at the same time but they get out of school at eleven-thirty. I gave all of my exams on Tuesday and Wednesday so today, and tomorrow I have to come to school but I have nothing to do. I already finished all my grading, but I am going to wait to hand it in until Friday because I told my students they could do so.
I filled out little half sheets of paper for everyone of my students, that’s about seventy, about what they are missing in my classes. Some students aren’t missing anything while others, particularly one student in my 2nd grade class is missing “un monton!” a huge amount. Arleth has missed over three weeks of school and has made no attempt to catch up. Her mother has asked the principal to not grade her at all for this bimester and then have next bimester count for two. The way the people think of school around here is a little crazy. Anyway, all week I have had to speak with mothers of my students explaining why they were probably missing the assignment. Of course, I can’t say well your daughter is always out of her seat and usually not paying attention, so she probably just didn’t get her paper to me when it was due. Instead I try to explain that she probably lost the paper and that we can make another copy for her to do. Now though, as it has reached Thursday, I have learned that I will never do this sort of thing again. For a couple of reasons, first and foremost it feels like they should’ve done the assignment when I asked. Every time I accept late work I feel like my deadlines mean less. I also knew it would require more work from me to send out the missing homework sheet but I don’t think I really knew how much more work! It’s too much! Most of my colleagues were saying I was crazy to write what they were missing, and I just thought, well I care about my students and that they get good grades. But the truth is that their grades are not going to change much by handing in one or two worksheets.
It’s been a double whammy of culture shock to be teaching and to live in a foreign country. The way they do things here in the school is so unusual to me, and even when I try really hard to understand it I often just say, well I guess its how it is, and move on, because I don’t think I ever will actually understand. For instance, (you knew this was coming with a follow up story didn’t you?) about two weeks ago we were told we had to write exams for the end of the first quarter. I felt stumped by the idea that I had to create an exam for first through third graders. I stopped into the office to see if Miss Evelyn could help me understand what I should do. She said oh you can do it, (insert nodding head here) no problem, just include pictures and ask them to draw pictures, to see if they understood all the stories. So, after that conversation with her I realized I just have to do my best. So I spent a whole Sunday, as did Emily and Brenda, writing exams that covered the whole first quarter. They were due on Monday to Miss Evelyn so that she could check them before making all the copies. The week before our exams were due our reviews for the exams were due and I included everything we have covered at all in my classes. Anyway, once the parents saw how much was going to be covered in my exams they were nervous and thought it was too much for their children.
The homeroom teachers were actually mad at me for making my exam too long, and all the while I thought it was what was expected of me. On this day I felt very frustrated. The homeroom teachers, the people I usually count on to be my allies were mad at me. And I mean mad, Erika, who was my friend at the beginning was literally yelling at me telling me I had done it wrong. As I think back to it I realize how lost I really was. I asked to meet with Miss Evelyn to know for sure what the deal was and to ask if I needed to change my exam. She told me that she thinks the exams should cover the whole period of time and not just the last unit. I think she was just telling me this though, and I feel like she probably explains that I don’t understand how it works in Honduras because I’m the American volunteer. I don’t know this for sure, so I have to let it go but she did tell me that next time we will write our exams over just the last chapters. So in the end, I will change my exams, but the thing that really upset me is that apparently the administration had a meeting about my exams. It would be fine to have a meeting about my exams if they invited me to explain what I knew. So I felt like I was being reprimanded for something I did wrong, but all I’m trying to do is what is right. So anyway all my students did well on the exams and my third graders, the class with the crabbiest parents, had an average of 88 %. I think that is a great result and I’m proud of the fact that I pushed them and believed in them when their parents didn’t.
Today, I am sitting in the teachers lounge at school with time to update my blog, and study for the GRE. This week was exam week and so the students have a different schedule, they arrive at the same time but they get out of school at eleven-thirty. I gave all of my exams on Tuesday and Wednesday so today, and tomorrow I have to come to school but I have nothing to do. I already finished all my grading, but I am going to wait to hand it in until Friday because I told my students they could do so.
I filled out little half sheets of paper for everyone of my students, that’s about seventy, about what they are missing in my classes. Some students aren’t missing anything while others, particularly one student in my 2nd grade class is missing “un monton!” a huge amount. Arleth has missed over three weeks of school and has made no attempt to catch up. Her mother has asked the principal to not grade her at all for this bimester and then have next bimester count for two. The way the people think of school around here is a little crazy. Anyway, all week I have had to speak with mothers of my students explaining why they were probably missing the assignment. Of course, I can’t say well your daughter is always out of her seat and usually not paying attention, so she probably just didn’t get her paper to me when it was due. Instead I try to explain that she probably lost the paper and that we can make another copy for her to do. Now though, as it has reached Thursday, I have learned that I will never do this sort of thing again. For a couple of reasons, first and foremost it feels like they should’ve done the assignment when I asked. Every time I accept late work I feel like my deadlines mean less. I also knew it would require more work from me to send out the missing homework sheet but I don’t think I really knew how much more work! It’s too much! Most of my colleagues were saying I was crazy to write what they were missing, and I just thought, well I care about my students and that they get good grades. But the truth is that their grades are not going to change much by handing in one or two worksheets.
It’s been a double whammy of culture shock to be teaching and to live in a foreign country. The way they do things here in the school is so unusual to me, and even when I try really hard to understand it I often just say, well I guess its how it is, and move on, because I don’t think I ever will actually understand. For instance, (you knew this was coming with a follow up story didn’t you?) about two weeks ago we were told we had to write exams for the end of the first quarter. I felt stumped by the idea that I had to create an exam for first through third graders. I stopped into the office to see if Miss Evelyn could help me understand what I should do. She said oh you can do it, (insert nodding head here) no problem, just include pictures and ask them to draw pictures, to see if they understood all the stories. So, after that conversation with her I realized I just have to do my best. So I spent a whole Sunday, as did Emily and Brenda, writing exams that covered the whole first quarter. They were due on Monday to Miss Evelyn so that she could check them before making all the copies. The week before our exams were due our reviews for the exams were due and I included everything we have covered at all in my classes. Anyway, once the parents saw how much was going to be covered in my exams they were nervous and thought it was too much for their children.
The homeroom teachers were actually mad at me for making my exam too long, and all the while I thought it was what was expected of me. On this day I felt very frustrated. The homeroom teachers, the people I usually count on to be my allies were mad at me. And I mean mad, Erika, who was my friend at the beginning was literally yelling at me telling me I had done it wrong. As I think back to it I realize how lost I really was. I asked to meet with Miss Evelyn to know for sure what the deal was and to ask if I needed to change my exam. She told me that she thinks the exams should cover the whole period of time and not just the last unit. I think she was just telling me this though, and I feel like she probably explains that I don’t understand how it works in Honduras because I’m the American volunteer. I don’t know this for sure, so I have to let it go but she did tell me that next time we will write our exams over just the last chapters. So in the end, I will change my exams, but the thing that really upset me is that apparently the administration had a meeting about my exams. It would be fine to have a meeting about my exams if they invited me to explain what I knew. So I felt like I was being reprimanded for something I did wrong, but all I’m trying to do is what is right. So anyway all my students did well on the exams and my third graders, the class with the crabbiest parents, had an average of 88 %. I think that is a great result and I’m proud of the fact that I pushed them and believed in them when their parents didn’t.
Friday, October 23, 2009
October 17 b
October 17, 2009
Wow, what an experience this week has been. Last Saturday Emily and I headed out to a bar with some co-workers to watch Honduras play the United States. We both had already bought are jerseys and were ready to support Honduras all the way so I didn’t think about being in any danger. In the end the United States beat Honduras and suddenly I felt less safe. People weren’t flat out rude to us but it was clear that we weren’t welcomed the same. Everybody sure gets in bad moods around here if they lose a soccer game. We ended up making the best of it, having fun with some friends, and then thankfully, Wednesday the 14 made up for it!
So Emily and I knew that the Honduran team was playing El Salvador on Wednesday night and we knew we wanted to watch it. We both thought it unlikely that they would win and from our Saturday experience we were eager to just stay home and watch the game together. A couple friends of ours and our housemate Yara also joined us for the game. We decided to order a pizza and had a blast together. The outlook was not good for Honduras because the United States also had to beat Costa Rica in order to actually make it to the World Cup. We were switching back and forth from one channel to the next to watch as much of each game as we could. Honduras was winning but the United States was behind most of the game. It was Costa Rica 2, United States 1, and in literally the last moments of the game an American headed a ball into the goal. At the time we didn’t quite understand what this meant… but as time passed we realize Honduras and the United States, after all the scoring was figured out, were headed to the World Cup! It was so exciting.
It is awesome to be here in such an important time in Honduras history. Of course, the political situation comes to mind first, but these people love their soccer and they haven’t been to the world cup since 1982! Honduras deserves this pick me up.
Needless to say we had to change out of our lounge around clothes and celebrate that fact that VAMOS AL MUNDIAL! We met up with some more friends down town and watched people fill the streets. Every car had someone hanging out the window, pick up trucks were full of people in the back, some cars even had whole families with little children sitting on top! Honduran flags everywhere, everyone sporting their Honduran Selection jerseys, horns blowing, and smiles! Lots and lots of smiles! It was awesome! I felt a little nervous once because we got caught up in a big crowd of people hooting and hollering but we got out of there quickly. It’s beautiful to see a whole country coming together and being so happy. I will never forget this experience!
Soccer becomes much more exciting when you get to watch it with people who are so pumped!
Wow, what an experience this week has been. Last Saturday Emily and I headed out to a bar with some co-workers to watch Honduras play the United States. We both had already bought are jerseys and were ready to support Honduras all the way so I didn’t think about being in any danger. In the end the United States beat Honduras and suddenly I felt less safe. People weren’t flat out rude to us but it was clear that we weren’t welcomed the same. Everybody sure gets in bad moods around here if they lose a soccer game. We ended up making the best of it, having fun with some friends, and then thankfully, Wednesday the 14 made up for it!
So Emily and I knew that the Honduran team was playing El Salvador on Wednesday night and we knew we wanted to watch it. We both thought it unlikely that they would win and from our Saturday experience we were eager to just stay home and watch the game together. A couple friends of ours and our housemate Yara also joined us for the game. We decided to order a pizza and had a blast together. The outlook was not good for Honduras because the United States also had to beat Costa Rica in order to actually make it to the World Cup. We were switching back and forth from one channel to the next to watch as much of each game as we could. Honduras was winning but the United States was behind most of the game. It was Costa Rica 2, United States 1, and in literally the last moments of the game an American headed a ball into the goal. At the time we didn’t quite understand what this meant… but as time passed we realize Honduras and the United States, after all the scoring was figured out, were headed to the World Cup! It was so exciting.
It is awesome to be here in such an important time in Honduras history. Of course, the political situation comes to mind first, but these people love their soccer and they haven’t been to the world cup since 1982! Honduras deserves this pick me up.
Needless to say we had to change out of our lounge around clothes and celebrate that fact that VAMOS AL MUNDIAL! We met up with some more friends down town and watched people fill the streets. Every car had someone hanging out the window, pick up trucks were full of people in the back, some cars even had whole families with little children sitting on top! Honduran flags everywhere, everyone sporting their Honduran Selection jerseys, horns blowing, and smiles! Lots and lots of smiles! It was awesome! I felt a little nervous once because we got caught up in a big crowd of people hooting and hollering but we got out of there quickly. It’s beautiful to see a whole country coming together and being so happy. I will never forget this experience!
Soccer becomes much more exciting when you get to watch it with people who are so pumped!
Sunday, October 18, 2009
October 17
October 17, 2009
Well I have a happy story about a girl at the home and a sad story. I guess I’ll start with the sad so I can end on a happy note.
Nicole Rojas Mejia, is a girl from the home and is also in my second grade class. She has always had an attitude in school but we have had fun playing together outside of the teacher student relationship. Anyway, on Wednesday of this past week she was eating candy in class. I really don’t feel like this is a big deal but it’s a rule that all the students have to follow and so I have to enforce it for everyone. I asked her to give me her sucker and she said that she was going to wrap it up and save it for later. I agreed with her proposal but then she couldn’t find her wrapper and continued to eat it in my class. I asked her to throw it away and she gave me this giant attitude about how I wasn’t her mother and I couldn’t make her do anything. I said Nicole would you like to discuss this with Ms. Evelyn the principal… and she said yes, so I said ok lets go to the principal’s office then. I took her hand in mine and she ripped it out and then started screaming at me. I left the room to get some help with her and in the end no one could get her to leave the room. She sat in her seat the rest of class not participating. I felt bad about her undermining my authority in front of the whole class and wasn’t sure what to do. I went to ask Ms. Evelyn about it later and she informed me that she had already suspended her for Thursday because she has had an attitude with the homeroom teacher also. It turned out that the incident with me became the breaking point for her getting into a lot of trouble. They take it very seriously when the girls misbehave in the home so she has missed out on a lot of extra activities.
Ok, so the hard part for me is that she has been avoiding me since. I actually, after my experience tonight, prefer the ignoring Nicole rather than the attitude Nicole. I was walking by the home after the folkloric festival today and all the girls were looking out the windows trying to see what was going on. I went and talked to Melissa a little bit about running to the coca-cola sign with the girls next Saturday and then I went to the next window to say hi to those girls. I didn’t realize that Nicole was at the window, and before I had a chance to say anything, or to decide to walk away she had slammed the window shut in my face. I just smiled at her she made a snotty face back at me and then that was it. I walked away reminding myself that I will love her unconditionally and that I can handle her attitude… but it obviously still did not feel good.
The happier story is about another girl in second grade. Riccy is a total sweet heart and is a great student. She has a happy spirit and we seemed to have really clicked. Her birthday was last week and so at church last Sunday she got to go up for her Birthday prayer. After they pray they sing to all the people with birthdays that past week. Riccy turned around with a huge smile on her face and was just radiating with pride that she had turned ten years old. I got teary and felt the way I imagine a mother would feel about her daughter. I love Riccy and am so thankful for the opportunity to get to know her and to help educate her so that she can become some one that only she can imagine.
On Friday I found out that the dog I grew up with, Max, had to be put down. I got the news before I went to school so I was trying not to think about it too much, but the truth is it was very sad for me. I know everyone has to go through pets dying, and I’ve coped well, but he was still a great dog that I will miss greatly. Anyway all day Friday I was trying to stay happy, and at the end of school Riccy had written me a card saying that she would miss me when I moved back to the states. I told her how much it meant to me to get that card that day. A blessing no doubt, that this particular day she felt like writing me a card.
So there are ups and downs to this job, but in the end, I’m learning from everything and amazed by God’s presence in my life over and over again!
Well I have a happy story about a girl at the home and a sad story. I guess I’ll start with the sad so I can end on a happy note.
Nicole Rojas Mejia, is a girl from the home and is also in my second grade class. She has always had an attitude in school but we have had fun playing together outside of the teacher student relationship. Anyway, on Wednesday of this past week she was eating candy in class. I really don’t feel like this is a big deal but it’s a rule that all the students have to follow and so I have to enforce it for everyone. I asked her to give me her sucker and she said that she was going to wrap it up and save it for later. I agreed with her proposal but then she couldn’t find her wrapper and continued to eat it in my class. I asked her to throw it away and she gave me this giant attitude about how I wasn’t her mother and I couldn’t make her do anything. I said Nicole would you like to discuss this with Ms. Evelyn the principal… and she said yes, so I said ok lets go to the principal’s office then. I took her hand in mine and she ripped it out and then started screaming at me. I left the room to get some help with her and in the end no one could get her to leave the room. She sat in her seat the rest of class not participating. I felt bad about her undermining my authority in front of the whole class and wasn’t sure what to do. I went to ask Ms. Evelyn about it later and she informed me that she had already suspended her for Thursday because she has had an attitude with the homeroom teacher also. It turned out that the incident with me became the breaking point for her getting into a lot of trouble. They take it very seriously when the girls misbehave in the home so she has missed out on a lot of extra activities.
Ok, so the hard part for me is that she has been avoiding me since. I actually, after my experience tonight, prefer the ignoring Nicole rather than the attitude Nicole. I was walking by the home after the folkloric festival today and all the girls were looking out the windows trying to see what was going on. I went and talked to Melissa a little bit about running to the coca-cola sign with the girls next Saturday and then I went to the next window to say hi to those girls. I didn’t realize that Nicole was at the window, and before I had a chance to say anything, or to decide to walk away she had slammed the window shut in my face. I just smiled at her she made a snotty face back at me and then that was it. I walked away reminding myself that I will love her unconditionally and that I can handle her attitude… but it obviously still did not feel good.
The happier story is about another girl in second grade. Riccy is a total sweet heart and is a great student. She has a happy spirit and we seemed to have really clicked. Her birthday was last week and so at church last Sunday she got to go up for her Birthday prayer. After they pray they sing to all the people with birthdays that past week. Riccy turned around with a huge smile on her face and was just radiating with pride that she had turned ten years old. I got teary and felt the way I imagine a mother would feel about her daughter. I love Riccy and am so thankful for the opportunity to get to know her and to help educate her so that she can become some one that only she can imagine.
On Friday I found out that the dog I grew up with, Max, had to be put down. I got the news before I went to school so I was trying not to think about it too much, but the truth is it was very sad for me. I know everyone has to go through pets dying, and I’ve coped well, but he was still a great dog that I will miss greatly. Anyway all day Friday I was trying to stay happy, and at the end of school Riccy had written me a card saying that she would miss me when I moved back to the states. I told her how much it meant to me to get that card that day. A blessing no doubt, that this particular day she felt like writing me a card.
So there are ups and downs to this job, but in the end, I’m learning from everything and amazed by God’s presence in my life over and over again!
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
October 7
October 7, 2009
I have felt probably every emotion under the sun the past 24 hours. I’m sure its just another way culture shock manifests itself but I feel like I need to recap it all for those of you who find my emotions interesting… or atleast I bother you enough to read my blog that you feel it is necessary to stay updated ;-)
Yesterday, I felt lost and pondered for the first time what it would be like to come home early. Before you fret please know that I only thought about it. As I think about it I feel like it would be worse to leave this organization then to bite the bullet and get through the next year. I’m still getting used to the fact that I’m not in college anymore. That means a whole lot of change even if I wasn’t in another country. Ok so because I have been feeling a little bit down, I find it hard to find things to write about. I guess it’s a coping mechanism.
Today I woke up in a pretty foul mood, just trying to cope. Anyway, once I got to school I was asked to help out with Third grade because Erika hurt her back and wasn’t able to come in to school. I didn’t have lesson plans for her class so we played heads up seven up, an old favorite of mine, and then we made cards for Erika. I really do love these kids, and they love me. It is wonderful to be able to just have fun with them once in a while without pressure that they need to be learning something from me.
I made it through all my morning classes and after lunch I was asked to go to a meeting for Eduardo. (I wrote about him in an earlier post, he is the boy that has a learning disability). He has been behaving bad every once in a while and sometimes he puts the other children in danger. The parents don’t help much with the situation so we have had to keep track of everything he does. Today was the breaking point. Yesterday he stabbed me with his pencil randomly while I was in front of the class teaching. It didn’t hurt and he apologized right away, (he does not have control over the actions of his body) but I still had to report it. I gave him a long talk about how it could’ve been my eye and blah blah blah but then later in the day he did the same thing to a student who then started bleeding. So in order to protect itself the school had to meet with the parents today about expelling him. (of course this is after many many many incidents) They pulled him out of class today and kept him in the principals office. I sat with him every free period I had. We colored, played hide and seek, tic tac toe, and just talked. He drew me a picture of his family where his dad was hitting him. I just hate the fact that I am here in Honduras and can’t get this boy the help he really needs. We had an IEP meeting of sorts about him today. The focus was about whether we were going to ask him to leave our school, and near the end of the meeting, unable to stop myself I said what about this kids parents? They clearly hit him and Eduardo is afraid, what can we do about it? They looked at me with pity and said, in Spanish of course, this is not the United States; we can’t do anything about it. There are too many kids being hurt by their parents. I sat back took a deep breath and tried to relax. I felt so angry that we are going to leave this kid to be home alone with his father who beats him. So anyway, I don’t want to dwell on what I can’t change but it was wonderful to sit with him today. He is an absolutely great kid one on one. I will miss him.
Then I went to the home to tutor the girls. I always feel too tired to tutor and wish I didn’t have to go, but after getting there I always feel so happy for the friendship of the girls. We laugh and joke and get some homework done in between J I love the girls in the home! I have to remember every morning that I am here for their sake. I teach so that the school can raise money to make sure these girls have their needs met. I hope that I can remember that and I pray that everyday I will feel blessed to be able to be a part of such an amazing organization.
I have felt probably every emotion under the sun the past 24 hours. I’m sure its just another way culture shock manifests itself but I feel like I need to recap it all for those of you who find my emotions interesting… or atleast I bother you enough to read my blog that you feel it is necessary to stay updated ;-)
Yesterday, I felt lost and pondered for the first time what it would be like to come home early. Before you fret please know that I only thought about it. As I think about it I feel like it would be worse to leave this organization then to bite the bullet and get through the next year. I’m still getting used to the fact that I’m not in college anymore. That means a whole lot of change even if I wasn’t in another country. Ok so because I have been feeling a little bit down, I find it hard to find things to write about. I guess it’s a coping mechanism.
Today I woke up in a pretty foul mood, just trying to cope. Anyway, once I got to school I was asked to help out with Third grade because Erika hurt her back and wasn’t able to come in to school. I didn’t have lesson plans for her class so we played heads up seven up, an old favorite of mine, and then we made cards for Erika. I really do love these kids, and they love me. It is wonderful to be able to just have fun with them once in a while without pressure that they need to be learning something from me.
I made it through all my morning classes and after lunch I was asked to go to a meeting for Eduardo. (I wrote about him in an earlier post, he is the boy that has a learning disability). He has been behaving bad every once in a while and sometimes he puts the other children in danger. The parents don’t help much with the situation so we have had to keep track of everything he does. Today was the breaking point. Yesterday he stabbed me with his pencil randomly while I was in front of the class teaching. It didn’t hurt and he apologized right away, (he does not have control over the actions of his body) but I still had to report it. I gave him a long talk about how it could’ve been my eye and blah blah blah but then later in the day he did the same thing to a student who then started bleeding. So in order to protect itself the school had to meet with the parents today about expelling him. (of course this is after many many many incidents) They pulled him out of class today and kept him in the principals office. I sat with him every free period I had. We colored, played hide and seek, tic tac toe, and just talked. He drew me a picture of his family where his dad was hitting him. I just hate the fact that I am here in Honduras and can’t get this boy the help he really needs. We had an IEP meeting of sorts about him today. The focus was about whether we were going to ask him to leave our school, and near the end of the meeting, unable to stop myself I said what about this kids parents? They clearly hit him and Eduardo is afraid, what can we do about it? They looked at me with pity and said, in Spanish of course, this is not the United States; we can’t do anything about it. There are too many kids being hurt by their parents. I sat back took a deep breath and tried to relax. I felt so angry that we are going to leave this kid to be home alone with his father who beats him. So anyway, I don’t want to dwell on what I can’t change but it was wonderful to sit with him today. He is an absolutely great kid one on one. I will miss him.
Then I went to the home to tutor the girls. I always feel too tired to tutor and wish I didn’t have to go, but after getting there I always feel so happy for the friendship of the girls. We laugh and joke and get some homework done in between J I love the girls in the home! I have to remember every morning that I am here for their sake. I teach so that the school can raise money to make sure these girls have their needs met. I hope that I can remember that and I pray that everyday I will feel blessed to be able to be a part of such an amazing organization.
October 1st
October 1, 2009
I can’t believe its October already. I am trying to stay away from the aching part of my thoughts that reminds me what its like to wear jeans and a sweatshirt to class in the morning, and how wonderful it was to look forward to Saturday Cross Country meets. The heat here is non-stop 90 degrees.
I want to make sure that I stay current with my blog entries, but it doesn’t feel like much has changed. All the beginning excitement has worn off and I’m trying to get used to the idea that this is my life. I usually find joy in overcoming challenges but the trick is that I have always chosen to overcome challenges I enjoy. Does that mean it is no longer a challenge? It is certainly a new challenge to be here teaching every day with a smile on my face and patience for my students. I’m bored, it gets old teaching consonants vs vowels, reading comprehension of Ramona Quimby, and obedience; saying that though, it has gotten much better. I can do anything for a year right?
I have gotten to know everyone around here much more, for better or worse. My housemates and I are all still making our co-habitation work even though we are all very different. At school though, some of the teachers who were really nice and friendly to us at the beginning seem to be backing off a bit. Maybe its just a phase they are going through or we are going through but its strange. I’m coming from just spending four years with all of my best friends, so I never had to guess what they were thinking or feeling… I just knew J Those of you who are reading this Oh I miss you so! I also feel a little bit like once they realized I can get around on my own and speak Spanish they were less interested because I tried to make it clear I wanted them as friends and not as caregivers. This is just speculation of course, they could just be very busy. So take it all with a grain of salt but what’s a blog if I can’t speculate why I feel the way I do?
I can’t believe its October already. I am trying to stay away from the aching part of my thoughts that reminds me what its like to wear jeans and a sweatshirt to class in the morning, and how wonderful it was to look forward to Saturday Cross Country meets. The heat here is non-stop 90 degrees.
I want to make sure that I stay current with my blog entries, but it doesn’t feel like much has changed. All the beginning excitement has worn off and I’m trying to get used to the idea that this is my life. I usually find joy in overcoming challenges but the trick is that I have always chosen to overcome challenges I enjoy. Does that mean it is no longer a challenge? It is certainly a new challenge to be here teaching every day with a smile on my face and patience for my students. I’m bored, it gets old teaching consonants vs vowels, reading comprehension of Ramona Quimby, and obedience; saying that though, it has gotten much better. I can do anything for a year right?
I have gotten to know everyone around here much more, for better or worse. My housemates and I are all still making our co-habitation work even though we are all very different. At school though, some of the teachers who were really nice and friendly to us at the beginning seem to be backing off a bit. Maybe its just a phase they are going through or we are going through but its strange. I’m coming from just spending four years with all of my best friends, so I never had to guess what they were thinking or feeling… I just knew J Those of you who are reading this Oh I miss you so! I also feel a little bit like once they realized I can get around on my own and speak Spanish they were less interested because I tried to make it clear I wanted them as friends and not as caregivers. This is just speculation of course, they could just be very busy. So take it all with a grain of salt but what’s a blog if I can’t speculate why I feel the way I do?
Thursday, October 1, 2009
October 1
Wow I can't believe its October already. I guess since I'm completing my second month here I should get some photos of where I live up! My pictures uploaded backwards than what I planned but... thats ok... right?
This is the view from my room. Gorgeous mountains that I try to peek at every morning just to remind myself how little my task for the day is.
You can't see it in the picture but I can see the famous coca-cola sign from my window, and at night it lights up! I have run up that mountain once, I hope to do it again.
The view of my bathroom door, and my little kitchen sink area. The sun looks pretty in this picture but its HOT!
My bed, I love the head board. Its perfect for all the pictures of the ones I love!
The view of my room from my kitchen sink and my door. That is my wall of love with all the pictures my students make for me. Cozy little place isn't?
This is the view from my room. Gorgeous mountains that I try to peek at every morning just to remind myself how little my task for the day is.
You can't see it in the picture but I can see the famous coca-cola sign from my window, and at night it lights up! I have run up that mountain once, I hope to do it again.
The view of my bathroom door, and my little kitchen sink area. The sun looks pretty in this picture but its HOT!
My bed, I love the head board. Its perfect for all the pictures of the ones I love!
The view of my room from my kitchen sink and my door. That is my wall of love with all the pictures my students make for me. Cozy little place isn't?
My kitchen sink and desk when I walk in my door.
Ok, Thats all, another post to come soon!
Love you all!
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
September 22 (b)
September 22, 2009
Because I have some free time today I feel like I can finally catch up on some of the blog entries I have wanted to write but haven’t had the time.
This past Sunday I had a little bit of a break down. I was too tired, nervous about going back to school after going on vacation for a whole week, and trying to talk to my mom on skype and it wasn’t working. Skype can be my best friend or my worst enemy depending on the day. Anyway, my mom gave me her great mom advice, sleep! I did get some sleep and started to feel much better. My housemates also suggested we go out to dinner so we went to Applebees and I got my favorite zesty ranch chicken sandwich. Things were looking up for me.
But nonetheless I feel as if I need to acknowledge for myself a little bit more about why this year is difficult. If I can write about them and understand them maybe I wont feel negatively about this experience but more proud of the fact that I am here doing it. So bare with me while I talk about why this is hard, if it doesn’t interest you as always no harm no foul.
Where to begin, the first and most difficult thing I have encountered is that I am not in Buenos Aires, Argentina. I knew my ticket said San Pedro Sula, Honduras, but I think deep down I was hoping to just replicate my wonderful experience in Argentina. The truth is though, that if Chicago is BsAs then I’m living in a much more dangerous Hickory Corners . This continues to be a shock to me. The city infrastructure is terrible, there is trash everywhere, I have to take a taxi to get anywhere other than the school and the bus system seems unapproachable for foreigners. I am in a city that does not feel like a city but has all the possible dangers of a big city.
Its HOT! And HUMID! I’m constantly sweaty around here. I’m realizing how much I love seasons as everyone writes about cross country meets, football games, and cooler windy weather. I never thought I would be homesick for apple orchards and crunchy leaves but wow am I. I am a believer in a four seasons lifestyle. This brings me to another thing that is hard about this year that I have signed up for…
I miss college! I like to think that the transition from college to work would be hard whether I was in another country or not. I miss going to the library, I miss waking up to meet my friend for breakfast, I miss lectures and learning things I had never though of before. I miss living in a huge community. For all the times I was irritated with Rockford College I sure do miss it now! I’ve started looking at graduate schools but it seems like it may be hard to get that process going while I’m away. Plus how does one know whether its worth the application fees and such. Ugh.
I apologize to any Hondurans who read this, but another think I struggle with is that the culture is lazy! Everything I have observed, from the teachers at my school, to the people working at the grocery store proves that people do the least bit that their job requires of them. Maybe they have a better sense of what is important in life and have less stress than Americans about being the best at their job and getting a raise, but when you are used to American ways this change is hard to understand.
I am reminded over and over again that this is a year of service. A big reminder recently though was that a man who comes to the home a couple times a year showed up while we were there eating lunch. He was very friendly and asked if he could take us out to dinner. We are always up for some activity outside the home so we all said yes, but the truth was that I was tired from our vacation and needing to get back into the groove at home. I felt as if I had to go though because I am “representing” the home. Later that day he showed up to move in for a couple days into our house. I’m not giving this situation the credit it deserves; I guess I had moved on from it. But anyway in the end he wasn’t actually given permission to live with us and the administration apologized for not warning us ahead of time. It felt so weird to have someone come into my home and make themselves comfortable without me even knowing they were coming. But as a volunteer I felt as if I had to just go with the flow. From now on we will always tell whoever shows up at our door wanting to come in that we must first hear from the administration that they are to stay here.
I had expected to be immersed into Spanish again but am certainly not here. My housemates don’t speak Spanish so it’s only English in the home, and at school I teach in English, and then most of the teachers want to practice their English with me. I have quickly become the token practice your English girl. I’ve gotten better at letting this go but its still something I struggle with. My favorite times are when we, Emily and I, go out with our coworkers on Saturday nights and meet their friends. Many of whom don’t speak English, then I can get my Spanish practice in!
I thought I was coming here with no expectations ready to embrace whatever it would be. Clearly, I did have some expectations that were eating away at me. It feels good to get them off my chest and express them. Thanks for listening.
Disclaimer: Family and friends, the hardest part of this whole deal is of course missing you all so badly. Please don’t think that because I did not write about that being hard I do not struggle with it I miss you all so much but I knew I would!
Because I have some free time today I feel like I can finally catch up on some of the blog entries I have wanted to write but haven’t had the time.
This past Sunday I had a little bit of a break down. I was too tired, nervous about going back to school after going on vacation for a whole week, and trying to talk to my mom on skype and it wasn’t working. Skype can be my best friend or my worst enemy depending on the day. Anyway, my mom gave me her great mom advice, sleep! I did get some sleep and started to feel much better. My housemates also suggested we go out to dinner so we went to Applebees and I got my favorite zesty ranch chicken sandwich. Things were looking up for me.
But nonetheless I feel as if I need to acknowledge for myself a little bit more about why this year is difficult. If I can write about them and understand them maybe I wont feel negatively about this experience but more proud of the fact that I am here doing it. So bare with me while I talk about why this is hard, if it doesn’t interest you as always no harm no foul.
Where to begin, the first and most difficult thing I have encountered is that I am not in Buenos Aires, Argentina. I knew my ticket said San Pedro Sula, Honduras, but I think deep down I was hoping to just replicate my wonderful experience in Argentina. The truth is though, that if Chicago is BsAs then I’m living in a much more dangerous Hickory Corners . This continues to be a shock to me. The city infrastructure is terrible, there is trash everywhere, I have to take a taxi to get anywhere other than the school and the bus system seems unapproachable for foreigners. I am in a city that does not feel like a city but has all the possible dangers of a big city.
Its HOT! And HUMID! I’m constantly sweaty around here. I’m realizing how much I love seasons as everyone writes about cross country meets, football games, and cooler windy weather. I never thought I would be homesick for apple orchards and crunchy leaves but wow am I. I am a believer in a four seasons lifestyle. This brings me to another thing that is hard about this year that I have signed up for…
I miss college! I like to think that the transition from college to work would be hard whether I was in another country or not. I miss going to the library, I miss waking up to meet my friend for breakfast, I miss lectures and learning things I had never though of before. I miss living in a huge community. For all the times I was irritated with Rockford College I sure do miss it now! I’ve started looking at graduate schools but it seems like it may be hard to get that process going while I’m away. Plus how does one know whether its worth the application fees and such. Ugh.
I apologize to any Hondurans who read this, but another think I struggle with is that the culture is lazy! Everything I have observed, from the teachers at my school, to the people working at the grocery store proves that people do the least bit that their job requires of them. Maybe they have a better sense of what is important in life and have less stress than Americans about being the best at their job and getting a raise, but when you are used to American ways this change is hard to understand.
I am reminded over and over again that this is a year of service. A big reminder recently though was that a man who comes to the home a couple times a year showed up while we were there eating lunch. He was very friendly and asked if he could take us out to dinner. We are always up for some activity outside the home so we all said yes, but the truth was that I was tired from our vacation and needing to get back into the groove at home. I felt as if I had to go though because I am “representing” the home. Later that day he showed up to move in for a couple days into our house. I’m not giving this situation the credit it deserves; I guess I had moved on from it. But anyway in the end he wasn’t actually given permission to live with us and the administration apologized for not warning us ahead of time. It felt so weird to have someone come into my home and make themselves comfortable without me even knowing they were coming. But as a volunteer I felt as if I had to just go with the flow. From now on we will always tell whoever shows up at our door wanting to come in that we must first hear from the administration that they are to stay here.
I had expected to be immersed into Spanish again but am certainly not here. My housemates don’t speak Spanish so it’s only English in the home, and at school I teach in English, and then most of the teachers want to practice their English with me. I have quickly become the token practice your English girl. I’ve gotten better at letting this go but its still something I struggle with. My favorite times are when we, Emily and I, go out with our coworkers on Saturday nights and meet their friends. Many of whom don’t speak English, then I can get my Spanish practice in!
I thought I was coming here with no expectations ready to embrace whatever it would be. Clearly, I did have some expectations that were eating away at me. It feels good to get them off my chest and express them. Thanks for listening.
Disclaimer: Family and friends, the hardest part of this whole deal is of course missing you all so badly. Please don’t think that because I did not write about that being hard I do not struggle with it I miss you all so much but I knew I would!
September 22 a
September 22, 2009 (a)
Wow what an exciting time to be in Honduras! Yesterday at 3:30 pm an administrator named Mayra called our house to tell us to not leave. The country has been under a curfew that was originally supposed to last until seven am but last night at about nine we got a call that there would be no school tomorrow either and that the curfew was extended till six this evening. It feels as exciting as a snow day, but its still ninety degrees and hot and muggy here… definitely no snow in sight. But I just love whe you have a day off you weren’t planning on, it makes it that much better! “Mel” or ex-president Zelaya who was ousted during the beginning of the summer snuck back into Tegucigalpa yesterday. He is currently in the Brazilian Embassy. I watched a lot of TV yesterday and saw people gathered in the city of Tegucigalpa. The people organizing in Tegucigalpa were sure passionate about the fact that they want Zelaya back. I also tried calling some of my Honduran friends once we heard the news but because so many people were using their phones at once it was totally blocked and we weren’t able to reach anyone with our cell phones.
As the warning announcement came over the television that there was a curfew to follow they showed pictures of the Honduran flag, people enjoying themselves in Honduran vacation spots, and even a little girl showing a project she did for school talking about how proud she was to be Honduran. This propaganda stuff made me feel like I was in a fiction story, but it all seems so familiar to me after my study of South and Central America and their governments. It’s actually quite exciting to be here in this important time for Honduran history. I am completely safe so please do not worry!
I will keep you updated on how things turn out. I think this could probably be a crazy couple of days. I don’t see it blowing over very quickly. Lets hope that Mel and Michiletti start opening up to the mediation process and meet an agreement peacefully!
Wow what an exciting time to be in Honduras! Yesterday at 3:30 pm an administrator named Mayra called our house to tell us to not leave. The country has been under a curfew that was originally supposed to last until seven am but last night at about nine we got a call that there would be no school tomorrow either and that the curfew was extended till six this evening. It feels as exciting as a snow day, but its still ninety degrees and hot and muggy here… definitely no snow in sight. But I just love whe you have a day off you weren’t planning on, it makes it that much better! “Mel” or ex-president Zelaya who was ousted during the beginning of the summer snuck back into Tegucigalpa yesterday. He is currently in the Brazilian Embassy. I watched a lot of TV yesterday and saw people gathered in the city of Tegucigalpa. The people organizing in Tegucigalpa were sure passionate about the fact that they want Zelaya back. I also tried calling some of my Honduran friends once we heard the news but because so many people were using their phones at once it was totally blocked and we weren’t able to reach anyone with our cell phones.
As the warning announcement came over the television that there was a curfew to follow they showed pictures of the Honduran flag, people enjoying themselves in Honduran vacation spots, and even a little girl showing a project she did for school talking about how proud she was to be Honduran. This propaganda stuff made me feel like I was in a fiction story, but it all seems so familiar to me after my study of South and Central America and their governments. It’s actually quite exciting to be here in this important time for Honduran history. I am completely safe so please do not worry!
I will keep you updated on how things turn out. I think this could probably be a crazy couple of days. I don’t see it blowing over very quickly. Lets hope that Mel and Michiletti start opening up to the mediation process and meet an agreement peacefully!
Asher HR Morgan
September 20, 2009
I have forgotten to blog about a very special happening in my life. I am an aunt again of a sweet little boy named Asher HR Morgan (H for Hannah R for his great grandfather). I’m overwhelmed with how much I love this little baby that I have not even met yet. In order to celebrate I made myself a yummy spaghetti dinner and then made brownies! I felt very far away during the waiting process and still do now, but it has been wonderful to talk to Xan over skype and hear little details about my new little nephew.
Here are some of the photos that I have seen that make my heart melt. I love how Emmanuel already loves his little brother. I’m so thankful for a healthy safe delivery and I’m counting down the days till I get to give Asher HR Morgan a big Tia Ana kiss. I’m not new to being away during this process, I was in Argentina when Emmanuel was born, but I still do not feel like a pro. It just plain old sucks that no one has invented a transporter time freezer deal so I can make a trip home real quick. Someone get on that please!
I have forgotten to blog about a very special happening in my life. I am an aunt again of a sweet little boy named Asher HR Morgan (H for Hannah R for his great grandfather). I’m overwhelmed with how much I love this little baby that I have not even met yet. In order to celebrate I made myself a yummy spaghetti dinner and then made brownies! I felt very far away during the waiting process and still do now, but it has been wonderful to talk to Xan over skype and hear little details about my new little nephew.
Here are some of the photos that I have seen that make my heart melt. I love how Emmanuel already loves his little brother. I’m so thankful for a healthy safe delivery and I’m counting down the days till I get to give Asher HR Morgan a big Tia Ana kiss. I’m not new to being away during this process, I was in Argentina when Emmanuel was born, but I still do not feel like a pro. It just plain old sucks that no one has invented a transporter time freezer deal so I can make a trip home real quick. Someone get on that please!
Friday, September 18, 2009
Tela, Honduras, pictures!
http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/Huc3Zysi2keUhZVkQzwNDA?feat=directlink
I can't get the link to post on here so copy and paste this into your web browser to see the album!
Thanks!
I can't get the link to post on here so copy and paste this into your web browser to see the album!
Thanks!
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